Is it the Vyvanse?

My husband finally agreed to try an ADHD medicine after receiving full evaluation and diagnosis for his ADHD. Our son had been diagnosed and treated for several years before he, my spouse, finally agreed that he needed to address his own ADHD symptoms. Another forced job resignation finally moved him to a place of openness about diagnosis. He decided to try Vyvanse since our son was trying it at the same time. Unfortunately after a short trial, we ended up removing our son from it since it basically turned him into a mean, ugly monster with fowl language and total disregard for treating others with respect. It only exacerbated his impulsivity and made him quite irritable in the evenings when it waned from his system. Despite this decision, my husband now refuses to try something different, says he's seeing great improvement at work (at his new job) and "doesn't want to remove his glasses."

I am all for treating ADHD with both medicine and behavioral/therapeutic changes but things have been so bad at our house lately that I am at the point of saying, "Let's go back to the way it was" before Vyvanse. My husband is irritable - all the time, is defensive, (every word that comes out of my mouth is taken as an accusation), and indeed even combative when he is on Vyvanse. To me it seems all the time, not just when the drug is waning at the end of the day. He insists that it is not the Vyvanse and that is it all me, that I need to change. He has even said this to our therapist in our therapy sessions. He is stuck in a place of anger that he just cannot get out of. At the moment he is saying that he will maybe try another drug when he can get into see our family doctor, about 8 weeks from now (maybe sooner, only if an appointment opens up and my husband can fit it into his schedule). He says he doesn't trust anyone else to help him make a decision on a different medicine. He also has said that he really doesn't think it is the Vyvanse so that could also be the reason for his lackluster attitude on making a change.

I need to know how disruptive I need to be. If there wasn't new medicine on board and he was acting this way I suppose I would take the kids and leave, or ask him to. I feel that by considering it as a medicine issue, I'm at least giving him the benefit of the doubt. This type of behavior without medicine would be absolutely unacceptable and unsafe for my family. There are many, many other issues that we need to work out as part of our healing and repairing our relationship after finally getting diagnosis and treatment. And I know that old habits / patterns put into place in order to survive with a spouse with undiagnosed / untreated ADHD for 22 years are hard to break. We need to work on all those things, but what do I do if we can't even get off of square one and move past this issue which is making all other issues ten times worse? I do also know that the "fog" of ADHD is a symptom and that the ADHD spouse cannot see the issues when they are not properly treated. But it is as if the Vyvanse is only making that fog more dense, the exact opposite of what it is supposed to do. His word- impulsivity is worse, his impatience exacerbated, his irritability off the charts, and his defensiveness off the hook. What can I do as a spouse to let his doctor know this is going on, what are the privacy issues and ways around them? His doctor is extremely difficult to get in to see as I mentioned above- way too overbooked with patients. Any thoughts, ideas, comments are welcome. And, I guess if its not the Vyvanse then I really do need to make plans to get out of my situation...