soo finally posting after reading lots and lots of posts :) sleeping out on the couch tonight due to a massive fight I've had with my adhd partner. I just don't know what to do anymore. I've been with him for 4 years, engaged and have a 6 month old baby. When we first got together it was a joke that he was always loosing everything but after 4 years it's just not funny. He hasn't been on medication and has got his appt to sort it out in another 4 weeks, mind you I have been asking him to sort it out for the last 2 years.
anyway, i feel like he has sucked the life out of me. All I seem to do is nag and it's making me miserable. He works long hours and usually 6 days a week so I am more than happy to do the housework, cook etc. all I ask him to do is take his dirty shoes and socks off before he walks in and have a shower. He does roadworks so he comes in black! Every day it's a struggle. He'll come straight in, pick up our girl so al her clothes are filthy, put his dirty feet on the lounge and play with his phone. After dinner he'll go and lay in bed, still dirty and stinking from work. When I ask him to have a shower it's world war 3. He doesn't smell, why should he have to, I'm so lazy because I'm a stay at home mum. I've gotten so sick of arguing about it, I'll sleep on the couch if he doesn't. Oh and his reason for not having a showe is because I won't have sex with him anyway!
That is also one of or big issues. It's not that I don't want sex but he doesn't realise his actions stay with me longer than it does him. Everything builds up. For eg. He needs his phone for work. I used to lay all his clothes out, pt his phone on charge, get his wallet and keys and put them all together, wait for his phone to charge then put it on the night stand. I felt ridiculous doing this but I was sick of copping the abuse. I stopped doing this becausewhen he wasn't working and couldn't find his keys, or left his wallet at home while we were out, it was my fault because I move all his things. Can't win! At least once a week k get a phone call off him expecting me to drop everything and drive an hour to where he is and back with drinks because he's forgotten his Wallet, or can't find his car key so have to bring him his spare. If I can't do it, well I'm a lazy bitch that does nothing but expects everything.
I don't know why it's so hard to shut a screen door, turn the light off when you leave for work in the morning, not leave the key on the car door for someone to steal out car, lock the house when we leave. It's just non stop every day yet I the ungrateful bitch who is using him for his money. I don't want to nag and complain, I want a happy relationship where we can go out for dinner and my partner doesn't sit on his phone the whole time watching videos on Facebook. I am ready to throw in the towel. I've been holding out for his medication but I'm so scared that it might not do anything. I love him but the bitterness and the resentment is overpowering. Will it ever get better???! Have I just wasted 4 years of my life ??? I feel broken. I told him that tonight and his response was to blame everything on me. I want even trying to blame him i just wanted him to know how I was feeing