hi, I'm new here. I was diagnosed with ADD long ago, was put on meds and when my mom didn't like the effects, I was taken off. My grades suffered and I never did graduate. I was 2 credits short. I never did blame ADD. I took on the idea that ADD wasn't even a thing. I was just a slacker. Well fast forward to recently. I saw an article about ADD and while scoffing, decided to read it anyways. I was astounded by how many boxes I ticked. I probably wouldn't give it a second thought if my relationship wasn't suffering.
my partner chooses not to believe ADD exists, and refuses to aknowledge it. I don't even call it a problem, it's only a problem if you choose not to do anything about it. im considering seeing someone about it in private, but I don't like secrets.
I know I can't rely on his support but I feel like if he were to find any evidence of it that he would leave me and our daughter.
i can't go on without treatment. My life is chaotic and I struggle to finish things and get organized. It's killing our relationship. We had a huge fight today because he came home and the house was a mess, like a huge mess, because I was trying to do 5 things at once and he was about 5 hours early. I explained this over and over that it was going to be perfect once it was finished and that I didn't have a chance to finish.
Go seek treatment
Submitted by overwhelmedwife on
If you feel that you MUST tell him, then just tell him that you're seeking treatment for anxiety and depression, which you probably also have as well. ''
Will you be seeing an MD? or therapist? or both?
Why would he leave your and your child just for getting treatment? Even if he doesn't believe in ADHD, why would he leave you? That sounds crazy. Normal people don't leave a loved one just because they're seeking treatment for something that they don't support or believe in.
If I were you, I would just do this privately. And at some point, when he sees the improvement, then you can decide whether to tell him....or not. Of course, if there is an improvement and he later finds out, then how can he be mad???
Don't mention ADHD to him anymore.
He doesn't believe in anxiety
Submitted by Dunnowhatodo on
He doesn't believe in anxiety or depression either. I wish I could just leave but we have a child.
sometimes it feels like he is crazy. Nope, just narcissistic. And he probably has ADHD too.
Refuses to see any kind of therapy or psychiatrist, oh and we're moving to the UK where if I do get treatment here, I won't be covered under the NHS for 6 months.
You seem a little fearful of him...
Submitted by c ur self on
You seem to be a little on pins and needles about his feelings...Instead of keeping all this emotion inside, I suggest you consider facing this calmly, but, head on...Hopefully he has enough respect for you that he will accept you aren't him, nor do you agree with him in this matter...I'm definitely no advocate for conflict, but, I am thinking some of your Anxiety is linked to your fear of what he might do or say...
Below is some example's of Anxiety being mentioned in the Bible, if he believes in it.....
Proverbs 12:25
25 Anxiety in a man's heart weighs him down,
but a good word makes him glad.
2 Corinthians 11:28
And, apart from other things, there is the daily pressure on me of my anxiety for all the churches.
Depression is in there also...as cast down, heavy heart, sorrowful spirit...
I hope things work out for you!
C
Your Choice
Submitted by Hysterical37 (not verified) on
Get the help you know you need
Submitted by Bou (not verified) on
You are a precious, worthy human being, Dunno. You need to take care of you, whether you're married or not, no matter who you're with. It sure sounds to me like you've gotten a clear, strong signal from yourself to go do that...you need to find out why that article fit your life.
look, in a way, you wouldnt be hiding it that there is help you know you need. from what you wrote, you and your husband have already talked about Adhd! Depression and some other things, and he has denied that they exist. WHich of course means that he's denying very well proven science. So at least some of the big topics in your mind about yourself have been out in the open between you. OWW and c have given good leads on handling it with him, not stressing the labels of things that he denies exist, but stressing that you are going after help for your needs
i dont know how paying for the consults would go in your house, if you had appointments without his knowing; if he controls the money, there might be conflict there, if you spend on appointments without his knowing that expense was going to happen. Running up hidden cost wont help. But even in that situation, I'd say do your best to find free screening through something like a women's center. It's your body. You have a natural right and obligation to find out something so basic as what your biological makeup is.
Honey, I'd never urge you into conflict with your husband, but you need to know about yourself, to be able to handle yourself. especially true if you do have ADHD. wishing you the best.