My spouse seems to hae two different realities. The first is the one he lives in when everything is calm and he can genuinely see how other people are helping him, and he pitches in to help other people. He was recently diagnosed with very high cholesterol and type 2 diabetes, and he told me how happy and grateful he was for the whole family changing our diets (we dont need junk food anyway. Its good for all of us and ive already lost 9 lbs! Yay!) and for being supportive but not making a Huge Stinkin' Deal about his conditions. Hes pretty sensitive about them and while he does need certain accomodations, he doesnt want to be fussed over or pitied. I learned to cook some fantastic meals and have put a lot of effort into making this seem like great food rather than a boring old medical diet. Friends, that felt awesome. A lot of things i do tend to go unnoticed so to be prasied without prompting felt great.
The second reality... hoo boy, its Opposite Land. This reality showed up not even half an hour after the first example. He stated that blood sugar spikes and dips can cause mood swings, and he hoped that he could be less irritable. I said that he had been irritable lately and i hopes that he could get that under control too. He instantly lashed out, told me that he probably wouldnt be irritable if i wasnt so awful to him and told me that since i do "f--- all" for him, i deserved it. Then he huffed off and went to bed.
I couldnt help but laugh. (Not out loud, not AT him but at the situation). So much for getting irritability and mood swings under control.
I dont see how he couldn't have managed without me, while im also awful and have never done anything for him. I think he needs a serious time out to cool his jets.
How do the rest of you deal with this back and forth, hair triggered flip-flopping? One monute youre great, the next youre literally the devil himself, then youre great again.... and theres no way to tell what phase youre in. Gah.