I just can't keep hoping that he is going to get his shit together. He was fired from his job in April and his severance pay runs out Aug 15th. He has applied for one job. He has been not working for 10 weeks and he has applied for *one* job. I worked 7:30 to 6:30 on Monday and when I got home he said what should we do for dinner? I thought to myself well you've been home for the last 11 hours and I've been at work. I said tacos. He said no tacos are too much work. I said ok, pancakes from a mix. He said will you do the dishes and I'll make dinner. I said ok and I started unloading the dw and he started complaining about being the only one who takes out the recycling. I said I suggested a long time ago that we do the recycling together every Sat morning but you said you didn't want to do that. I said it's irritating when I get home from an 11 hour work day and you ask me what should we have for dinner? and there's dirty dishes all over the kitchen. He said well I'm trying to find a job. I said ok how many job applications have you actually submitted? And then he said he wasn't going to talk to me about it and he left. He came back later. Tuesday he told me that he isn't going to answer any questions about his job search bc the only reason I'm asking about it is so I can make him feel bad about his lack of progress. I said the reason I am asking is because I cannot pay the rent on my income alone and we will be evicted.
He said I can't ask him what his plans are because it stresses him out. I said if being asked questions is too stressful for him then he should move out. He said he shouldn't have to be the one to move out and if I'm unhappy I should move out. I said it is unfair and selfish for him to refuse to do anything to make our situation better and also refuse to leave. He said I am a jerk for saying he is selfish.
I am unhappy, worn out, exasperated, and angry. One minute I am sobbing and the next minute I want to get out the scissors and cut his clothes to shreds.
I set up Alexa to play She's Leaving Me Because She Really Wants To every time I walk in the door. It started playing before I opened the door tonight. He complained. I said oh, you like my new theme song? Feel free to turn up the volume so you can hear it better.