Job help


This is my first post, so I apologize in advance for any mistakes.  My husband was diagnosed with ADHD a couple of years ago, and has had trouble keeping a job, controlling his emotions, maintaining personal relationships...all the things that go along with the diagnosis.  I'm especially concerned about the job situation, though.  I guess I've got a two part question.  Most of the research that I've found as far as a person with ADHD holding a job is grim.  But I refuse to believe that a diagnosis is, by default, a certain death to one's career.  What are some resources that we can refer to that will help him to find a job where he can excel?  Also, what are some ways that I can help him to manage his symptoms and regain his happiness and self esteem?

It's true career management

It's true career management is so difficult. My husband has ADHD and has struggled all of his life with keeping jobs. I the last 5 years he was at one job for 2 years which is the longest time he's ever stayed at one place. He was so proud and felt such accomplishment. Although it ended in not such a great way, and it was a blow when he left the job, we worked hard at staying positive and taking the good instead of focusing on why he lost the job (he had conflicts with coworkers)The job gave him tons of experience in a new field (IT) and he was able to make a lot of great contacts whom he did have good working relationships with.  He recovered much quicker and was onto the next. The last job he was laid off from, which in most cases would be a negative thing, but seeing as how his work history consisted mostly of being let go, being laid off was not so bad ( silver lining?)

I don't have any specific resources to share with you but can say that looking at what he is good at is always what you need to do. This last job of my husbands, he worked on a smaller team with fewer coworkers and in a more quiet setting and worked the night shift and it was like night and day when he would come home from work. He definatley didn't struggle as much in the day to day. His work days were more calm because the business was slower at night. Working with less people helped a lot because as with any job there comes some type of drama and less staff means less drama. Self esteem is an issue and he can get really down on himself and hyperfocus on all the things he can't or didn't do well at. At home I try to focus on the stuff he is good at and takes pride in doing. The division of the home duties is a big part of that. For example our car maintenance,cleaning and anything car related(registration,tires, smog etc) is all him. It's his domain and he is responsible for it period. I don't ask questions and I don't micromanage. It's a compromise because I can let go of my need to control stuff and bonus is the cars always kept up and he can take the credit and control for keeping that part of the household running which makes him feel good. Find the things that your husband is good at and the things that serve as self esteem builders. Even if it's small things like dealing with the car or doing the grocery shopping. I have found that if there are things that I am willing to give up control over and that if they don't get done exactly how i would do them but I am ok with it, then those are the things my husband puts on his list of responsibilities. For me some of the small things that maybe a non ADD person would see as a pain to do or not a huge deal, an ADD person can do that well and really take control and manage that duty then it helps them feel like they are contributing and they aren't just a failure at everything. Good luck!