Judgy/negative opinions about people

Hello all,

I've been really interested reading through all the threads on here - I had an absolute lightbulb moment a few weeks ago and realised that my husband (of 16 years) has adhd (as does his father who unfortunately I can't stand due to his really extreme version of symptoms). Soooo much now makes sense and although I kind of see it an explanation rather than an excuse I'm trying to learn to be more empathetic and understanding (rather than the rage I've felt for the last few years!!). One thing that does really wind me up is his attitude to people he meets, or even people in public life. He makes a fairly snap decision on someone, 99.99999% of the time negative, and often based on a throw away comment I've made about a friend of mine. It is then almost as if he latches on to that one fact and can never ever change his mind. His opinion always has to be the right one, my opinion has no bearing but it is as if he has to use a mental peg to categorise someone and that same fact will be trotted out every single time that person is mentioned, for literally 10 years and every single time it will reignite my annoyance. I always viewed it as a kind of mental 'laziness' as if he couldn't be bothered to actually think about someone and consider any changes or new facts and just skimmed the surface of his memory but now I'm thinking its a adhd trait and its almost a learned memory trick to remember people- do you think it is or is he really judgemental and mean?!