Just can't stand him sometimes

Just need to vent, I just can't stand my husband, most of the time (99% of the time).  Everything he does annoys me.  He can't remember anything I say.  We are planning a trip to DC, actually I am planning the trip.  I've told  him over and over when we are leaving, how long the drive, etc.  He asked me just now, how long is the drive?  Can you please remember something!  He asks me stupid questions that he should really be able to decide on his own, he heated up chicken nuggets for our son and asks me are they hot enough?  He is 44 years old, he can't tell if they are hot enough.  My son eats chicken nuggets nearly every day.  I think asking questions must be self stimulating for him somehow.  I'll say something and he repeats it back to me as a question.  Every single time.   He licks his fingers when he is eating, disgusting, and makes that slurping sound when he does.  At night, he doesn't brush his teeth before bed, he swishes his iced tea (with sugar in it) around his mouth to rinse out the food, Gross!  Then cries when his teeth hurt and needs to go to the dentist.  Brush your teeth! Go to the dentist every 6 months like the rest of us.  If you're afraid there are tons of dentists that cater to that.  Find one.  those last two have nothing to do with his ADHD just annoying habits.  I can go on and on.

I know he annoys me so much because I've let my anger and resentment take over and I don't know how to go back.  The book is helping but if he won't work on anything there is only so much I can do.  I look back at the beginning of our relationship to try to think of what I was attracted to, what I fell in love with, and I honestly cannot come up with anything.  I liked the part in the book that says from here on create a new relationship, forget the past and concentrate on today and tomorrow (something like that).  I thought maybe that could be helpful to us since I can't find what I fell in love with from the beginning.  We need help to do that though and I don't know if he will follow through with that.