After three months of ADHD drugs and hours of self treatment (learning life strategies etc) I have seen improvements at work and in what little social life I occasionally have. Aw mentioned many times before: the suicidal thoughts have just diappeared too. However, the situation at home is as bad as it ever has been. As indicated by the many spouses on this site, being easily frustrated, grumpy, inattentive and impulsive makes someone unlikable.
I get it.
But at what point does persistent, verbal and physical aggression even against the most unlikeable person constitute domestic abuse? I try to be different and the medicine helps, but the attacks I endure make it harde to be a better person which seems to "justify" more attacks aganst me. Being bullied by a spouse and your pre-school child is no fun. Of course it would be worse if it were a male being abusive to a wife, but even so, this is to the point that I am so frazzled emotionally and my confidence is shot . I have been bowing out of client meetings in my sales job because of a sudden timidty and lack of self confidence I haven't felt in 15 years of selling. Paralysed by trauma and self doubt, I have left opportunities for our competitors to pick up.
It would be better for everyone if we ended this relationship responsibly. I'll still pay most of my salary, but the bad husband and dad will be gone. I am never going to subject me or anyone else to this again.
With me gone from daily life of my family, the healing all around can begin.