Just getting started after 24 years

I don't know where to start... I have so many emotions, thoughts, questions... I can't believe I have been married to my husband for 24 years and know just seriously considered  that what we have experienced through our marriage, but even more importantly what he has experienced himself is ADHD. So much of it makes sense and I feel blindsided, cheated, relieved, regretful ,etc. all at once. He hasn't been diagnosed yet but the experiences described in this site and the book ( the ADHD effect on marriage, which I purchased and am reading) are too close for comfort. We have laughed for years about his "shiny object syndrome" but never realized that this is so much more than that. It is a miracle that three kids later and both of us being bi-vocational ministers that we are still surviving in a happy marriage.  We truly love each other and I can only say that we have applied 1 Corinthians 13 to our lifestyle everyday. That's how I know we have survived. But I am hungry to find out more and and how we can go beyond the walls we have constantly bumped up against seemingly holding us back in many areas. I want to learn more about how he thinks and about how I react, which then makes him react.  I am grateful for this path to knowledge.