Just Really Frustrated.

I am the non-ADHD husband.  My wife has recently been diagnosed with ADHD.  We have been married for 17 years and I have known there have been issues for a while.  I will not delve into them fully here.  But it would seem like since my wife's diagnosis she has used it like a shield to blame her bad behavior on.  So, in short, she seems to have advocated all personal responsibility for her actions.  If she know's the difference between right and wrong, why does she continue to do wrong?  If she knows she has ADHD, why does she not stop herself in an argument and say "I have ADHD, maybe I am the problem?"  She says now things will be different because she has a diagnosis.  I can't believe that.  I do know, that she does love me, but just because she loves me, is that enough?  I have dumped hundreds of thousands of dollars, years and tons of emotions in our relationship and after 17 years of marriage, my new reality has become it is just easier not to deal with her.  I am conflicted because the vows did call for "in sickness and in health," but I am not sure I could ever be happy with her....diagnosis or no...I have given more than I will ever receive and have grown very resentful.  All that is keeping me here in the relationship is duty at this point.  Being a Soldier, I find that I am predisposed to do my duty, but this pack is getting too heavy to continue carrying....

It would be nice to have a partner that I could be comfortable to be around and take comfort in.  

Sorry, just frustrated and venting.