Just saw a divorce lawyer

I need a place to vent. I saw my first divorce lawyer today to ask some questions and get a better picture of where I would be if I split from my husband now.

It wasn't ideal. Basically, it is challenging for me to get custody at my daughter's age. She is 11. When she is 13, it would likely be a lot easier for me providing she states that her preference is to live with me (at this point she unequivocally would). A lot of you will understand why custody is so important to me because of the effectiveness (lack of) in parenting with ADHD. My husband has a terrible relationship with our daughter.

I am struggling. I know I want out and the anxiety from staying in this marriage is so detrimental to me. I don't sleep well and my body is in a constant state of unease. I want so badly to take action that I know would be healthy for ME. But I can't take an action that would ease my suffering but put my girl in jeopardy of living with her dad part time. Looking at a minimum of two more years like this feels so insurmountable to me physically, emotionally, mentally.

I just need some consoling from people who get it. Or something. I don't even know.