Just Watched EWTN Abundant Life with Dr. Hallowell. What a blessing. Help for a Christian Struggeling with ADD HUSBAND

Last night I was on this site, I really needed to assess where I am and if I am on the right track with myself emotionally.  Now that my husband and I are no longer together, I see this site as a tie to stay connected to what was my reality.  

 

A combination of one thing or another I have pulled away from seeking God, but over the past few days I have set the TV to record one Christian show or another.  It just so happened that I set the TV to record Abundant Life.  I am not a catholic, but I was drawn to the show by the title.  Today was the first day that the show recorded.  Instead of watching the day long of election, I went to see what I had recorded.  After deleting several also recorded Christian shows, too positive, to pessimistic, to condemning… I clicked on the Abundant Life recording. The topic ADHD!!!  Was this God seeking me or what!

 

The topic ADHD, it was a good 10 minutes into the show when the host began to talk about the book Driven to Distraction, that I recalled the picture of Dr. Hallowell I had so often noticed on this site… AND IT CLICKED! That’s the guy, the pleasant looking guy on the ADD Marriage site!!!!

 

My husband aka almost ex-husband has thrown himself into religion and in the course of doing so, he denounces that he has ADD.  I haven’t been on this site in some months and have since left my husband.  My greatest struggle is balancing my faith with the reality of what my life was like with my ADD husband and my pending divorce.  I am going to write in another post regarding where I am at now with my husbands ADD. 

 

I will use this post for any possible discussion or feedback about ADD and faith.  I know there may not be any scriptures in the bible about ADD, but are there any scriptures or guidance I can share with my husband to open his eyes that ADD IS REAL and he too is perfectly created with it…but we have to address it.  I feel like if it isn’t in the bible, he won’t address it as he is trying to pray it away.

 

I will await the second part of the series.  The show hasn't addressed faith as of yet, I hope it will.  But, just being on a Christian site will let Christians know... it is real!

 

GOD Bless you!

 

Lisa

ADHD Medical, not Religious

Unfortunately, I don't think that your husband will find his ADHD in scriptures.  But it has been most definitively identified as a REAL, physical disorder.  I am doing some research right now for my book and I have just finished a section by some researchers who have been looking (in excruciating detail) at what, EXACTLY, should be the way to identify adult ADHD (vs. children's ADD, which is what is covered in the medical diagnosis books).  Here is just a short excerpt:

"...ADHD in adults is not a benign disorder.  Nor are adults with ADHD simply part of the general population who have occasional difficulties from time to time with attention and who areperceived as exaggerating the extent to which their sumptoms may be producing impairment in major life activities - a point sometimes asserted in teh popular media and by critics of ADHD."  (Russell Barkley, Kevin Murphy, Mariellen Fischer - ADHD in Adults:  What the Science Says)  I don't necessarily recommend this book for reading (they take more than 150 pages to discuss whether or not the diagnostic criteria are correct, and why not, for example) but the point is this - ADHD is real, as are lots of other overlapping syndromes (which is why, in part, the discussion of criteria is 150 pages long).

I guess that I would hope that he views being a person who can be the best dad possible, and most connected person possible (loving, forgiving, etc) might be a better approach...that the ADHD symptoms get in the way for his doing this (if they do).  Ultimately, though, it's up to him to run his life as he sees fit and as he is comfortable.  You may not have as much say as you might like, but that is part of what being human is all about (at least in the U.S. - I don't mean in other places) - making choices and then living with the consequences of those choices...good or bad.

Religion and ADHD

I can understand the attraction your husband has for religion. I have recently been diagnosed with ADHD and have in the past done the same as your husband. Since being on medication and not being so hard on my self I have learned to become a much better partner in my marriage.

Let me geuss, your husband is very poassionate about what intersets him at the moment. If you're not that interest then you don't stand a chance. Very defensive and phrases things in a way that are accusing and then denies that is how he meant it.

Good news is if he actually comes to terms with his diagnosis and his place in life then those things that make the marriage unworkable may subside and give you guys a fighting chance. I have learned and can ussually catch myself before I cause damage. Not Always!

As far as biblical phrases the one that is most applicable is "God helps those who help themselves". That is in the bible, isn't it? We with ADHD have to make assumptions because we are really not sure what we THINK we know  is actually fact. It still works though!

Good luck!