My husband has ADD from a traumatic birth injury. It has been a big part of our marriage. He and I used to get along, but since we got married a year ago, our relationship has turned into more of a parent-child theme. I don't like it. I've lost my husband to arguments over helping with dishes and laundry, or going to events outside the house, helping with our dog, etc. If it's not something he wants to do, he sees it as an annoyance and I'm the bad guy.
My husband and I have lived apart for a month now after a big argument we had recently. Over the past year, my previous job led me to be overworked, stressed out, and I was even bullied by a co-worker. I brought my anger home and took it out on my husband. I truly hit rock bottom during this time and was in a deep depression.
Also, since last year, my husband has been dealing with his father's stage IV pancreatic cancer. He has been unable to focus on anything but his father, and many areas of his life have suffered from neglect. He and his father never got along very well, but I feel like he's taking this time to patch things up as best he can.
I keep asking him when I can move back, but he can't tell me a timeline. He wanted me to get help right away, and I've done that. I'm seeing a therapist for anger management and reading Melissa Orlov's book to better understand the ADHD mind.
My question is this: has anyone ever had a similar situation like mine where their ADD spouse had a relative who was dying and they neglected you for them? I feel like my husband can't even deal with our marriage issues until his dad passes, which I feel will be very soon. But still, he can't even talk to me on a daily basis. It's like I don't even matter anymore. He says things like, "I need space" or "I'm trying to figure out my life".
I just need to know if I get help and do all the things he asks of me, if he will take me back, or if we're doomed. Once his dad dies, I'm not sure if he will behave any better.