My partner and I have been together for the past 5 years. We are not married but have made steps towards marriage, planning a family, and recently bought a home together. Our lives have countless personal and financial ties that make our relationships possible end very hard to sort out. I am not interested in an end to the relationship because I love my partner despite the personal labeling of "I'm selfish." My partner will put friends and spur of the moment activities before family functions or personal plans. If a friend or coworker calls for a beer- my partner is out the door in a split second. Recently my partner had knee surgery that made independence hard. I was the sole caretaker, chauffeur, and my life revolved around their schedule. After 2 months of care- my partner could again drive and this is where our issues started.
My partner frequently goes out and stays out, despite promising there is no cheating. (They truly are about the bar scene and shooting sh#$ with friends) They no longer want to start a family or a marriage commitment, even though our relationship began with both of these ideas as key. We recently bought a house with a spare bedroom to start the family and now my partner is afraid and has adamantly stated they had a change of heart. I'm heart broken because all of our plans have been shot down and I'm financially in bed with this person- who I thought I'd spend my life.
My partner doesn't want the relationship to end- they simply want it to stay how it is with no marriage or children. This was never our plan. My partner has become down right disrespectful, angry/yelling over me, and determined to brush it under the rug. They have redoubled their efforts to keep busy simply so we never have the conversation on what the heck is going on.
Communication and trust are at all time lows. I love my partner but don't know if this is theirr true opinion or work stressors (ppl laid off) and change has triggered a mental break down. Do I wait it out? How do I know if this can be fixed if my partner won't communicate?