Learning about ADD symptoms in our children

Hello, this is my first post, and I am new to the concept of ADD and its impact on our family. My wife (of 14 years) has very recently been diagnosed with ADD Inattentive type - though she does not accept it openly (I believe in her heart she knows it to be true). For me this was a revelation. I asked the ADD specialist who diagnosed my wife, to recommend books to help me understand the condition. My goal, to be better able to deal with the impact ADD has on me, my two young boys, and to be able to support my wife and be the best husband I can possibly be. Needless to say, having this illness in our lives for 16 or so years, undiagnosed, unrecognized, has been a huge challenge. We just never understood our relationship issues and the ADD roller coaster had its way. Working with psychodynamic marriage counselors ..... well, I am sure many of you know just how problematic that can be when un-recognized ADD is present (inattentive type). Needless to say, today, after a few months of veracious reading, at least now I understand the impact of ADD, my role, my wife's role, and I have the tools to start to heal. A lot of pain, but ready to forgive and fully prepared to take on the long road to healing ahead...... definitely starting with taking care of me so I can be the best for my family. All this said, the purpose of this posting is to ask you all for any recommendations for reading material or blogs that can help me learn about signs of possible ADD inattentive type in young boys, 8 and 6. I am specifically concerned about my 8 year old. I really wonder about his angry outbursts and how he will cause fights for no reason with Mom - sometimes he tries to hook me. Could this be him creating conflict to feel better? I have read so much about this in adult ADD inattentive type, where they just need to fight and create conflict to feel better. Stimulation being their friend. Ultimately, we will get him evaluated. In fact, we are having him see someone right now to help him with another issue. However, bringing up my concern for him having ADD with the specialist when my wife is in denial of her ADD (the possibility of a genetic link and my bringing attention to it by opening up this conversation, would trigger extreme defensiveness) would not be productive at this time. Any reading / research suggestions would be very much appreciated. All the best to you all.

Welcome

Hello.  First of all I am sorry your wife isn't on board yet.  Permanent change can not happen without her help.  Second, I really appreciate your positive tone and hope that can be sustained.  Third, there probably is more info on the Families with ADD part of the forum.  Driven to Distraction seems to be the go to book for ADHD of all ages and types.  And keep in mind just because your wife has the inattentive type doesn't mean the kids can't be combined or hyper.  I don't have kids so I can't really be of more help.  Best wishes as you navigate.