Learning and Seeing

Before I forget...I wanted to recount as I see it...a successful interaction with my wife and what I have come to understand better?  The problems we run into so many times...is within my wife's ability to say what she means or even say...what she is thinking in way that makes any sense to me?  There is a bit of logic or a piece to this puzzle always missing and this is where I walk head long into trouble because I just can't see it?  There is a reason why....however, I can't see it with my wife in that...she doesn't tell me that piece that is missing and its the piece that is necessary..for me to see it?  What happened this morning....helped me see?

When I walked into the room...my wife appeared emotionally distraught as if she had been or was crying?  We had just checked in with the election results and as is.....Trump won and Hillary lost.  I got in context...this is what she was crying about?  What was not clear or to me at least....to the level that this would cause her to be upset ( to that level??? ) was and has been somewhat unclear until she made one comment that put this all into perspective for me?  I asked if Hillary's loss was what was so upsetting and she said yes....which I said "I'm sorry she didn't win...that must be disappointing for you?".  In which she replied "you wouldn't understand.....you're not a woman."   ( buzzzzzzzzzzz- errrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!! )  Stop right there!!!!

What I understand....is that the candidate of her choice for President ( in this case mine as well ) didn't win and that is disappointing?  I also understand....that if she had won....this would have been a historical event in that...this would have been the first woman to be President?  I also understand...that the popular vote ( last time I checked ) was 2 tenths..of 1 % in Hillary's favor which is the same as ( in my mind ) saying the popular vote for all intensive purposes was 50% to 50%.....nearly if almost exactly that?  2 10ths of 1%...is a drop in the bucket if not less than that?  But of course...that's not what determines the winner and as far as that goes.....the winner is the one who gets the most votes in all categories.  I also understand....that this would be a victory in a sense...for woman in respect to being validated or in terms of having some resolution to the seeming inequality that is there?  I also think....if a man was in the same place as Hillary.....HE....might have won based on the small percentage of voters out there ( who ever they are ) that might not have voted for a woman...if a woman had not been that choice and it had been a man instead?  It was so close...that I do think that in this case....that might have made the difference?

But what is not clear or has not been clear to me....is why this is such a personal thing for my wife...and her seemingly preoccupation with the Gender aspect since Hillary.;....was not perfect and there were a lot of reasons or skeletons in her closet...that was probably more to do with peoples choices...than just voting for a woman....because she's a woman without considering that maybe......between the two choices......neither one was a good one but it was more of a toss up...between the lessor of two evils if you put it that way?  It isn't a beauty contest or a popularity contest in that respect?  The job at hand is President....and 1/2 the people voted for Hillary....any way?  What is this personalization and identification thing here and what does that mean?

I've made this argument once before...with a co-worker who was offended when everyone was making fun of Sarah Palin...because she represented the Christian Right Wing....which is what he stood for or believed in?  To the point...he got angry with everyone in the room for speaking about Sarah Palin's inability to be coherent...and apparently seemingly.....kind of out there in her thinking and just plain Bullshitting when she was asked a direct question like...."which magazines do you read? "   Ahp.. blp....eh...er......All of Them!!! "  This is what we all were making fun of...and our co-worker took offense at this????? Like Huh??

  I turned to this fellow and said....."So if Adolf Hitler....was running for President...and he represented to Christian Right Wing.....you'd vote for him?"  Ahp...blp....eh...er.....Christian are being Persecuted for Believing what they Believe!!!! "  Is what he said?  And I said..."In this country?  Persecuted?  That sounds like "ancient talk"...going back a couple of thousand years?  "Where are Christians being persecuted in this country as in you....a white, middle aged man in America?  Of all the people who are not being "persecuted "....in this country.....white, middle aged men who are Christians....are the least likely of ALL  people being persecuted in this country?  In fact.....white, middle aged MEN who are Christians in this country....comprise probably the least persecuted group ( as whole ) of any one segment of society of anywhere on the this planet....who could say they are being treated unfairly and have to deal with being persecuted?  How do you figure?"

"Well....they are somewhere!!!!"  and then he just got angry and we all left him alone??  What was more like it....is that he was feeling personally persecuted and feeling things were unfair to him personally...and this somehow was an insult to him personally....to make fun of Sarah Palin.....despite the obvious?  And yes.....he would have voted for Adolf....IF he had been in Sarah place instead but would not concede even after I weaseled that out of him later when it got right down to saying "yes" or" no"...because the answer was yes....and that was where he was simply not going to admit it?

And in the same way.....this election, Hillary and what that meant to my wife....meant more than just meets the eye...and was more than just electing a President?  By winning the Presidential election.....it would mean more to her....than just that and within that....this is where what I'm calling....."a hidden agenda" comes into play?  What ever that "hidden agenda" is...and why it's so important....is why my wife was crying and what she is not able to say?  This is that hidden peice of the puzzle or bit of logic missing..that no one knows except my wife...but she's just not telling?  It appears to be the same thing to me...as saying.....I'm upset that you are making fun of Sarah Palins ability to be forth right and not just make stuff up and saying....ALL magazines......and everyone going..."that doesn't sound like an honest answer to me but I could be wrong....but I don't think I am?  That was an evasive answer...to simple a question?  She said she read lots of magazines and was quoting them by saying this is where I get my information?  So when asked which ones.....you'd think she could tell you...right?"  Otherwise....she's lying....one might think?  So to argue that she's  being Persecuted like Christians are  ( somewhere but not in America???? unstated however completely irrelevant to the topic, Presidential Elections or the price of Tea in China no less??? lol )  by a white middle aged man living in America.....doesn't appear to make a lot of sense as to why he would get angry....and yet....cannot explain it? ( and not make any logical connection to his anger...and Sarah Palin?????  Coming from a white, middle aged man in America? 

And in terms that I can understand?  I voted for Hillary...but she lost.  The point of having an election...is to pick one.... and then one person wins and one person loses?  Winner takes all....that's the way it's suppose to work?  What does this mean to me?  We have a new President..and the person I voted for lost?  It doesn't cause me to cry however....because this is how it works?  This was not a blow for women rights or a sign of gender bias or  ( persecution???)  On the contrary.......50% or all voters ...voted for a woman.....and Trump won fair and square?  No one cheated or tried to pull a fast one.  If you play a game .....and win fair and square....then congratulations are in order...for winning over the competition and giving them credit..where credit is due?  May the best Man ( or Woman ) win on a level playing field which is exactly what you had...and is exactly what happened?  So what...there might be a few who didn't vote for Hillary because she's a woman....but that argument doesn't hold a lot of water...seeing how an African American man won for the last two terms and he was BlACK!!!  OMG!!!  You think....a Black Man.....living in this country....has it worse ( or has had it worse?? ) than a white woman in America?  Thinking.....I don't recall white women...being strung up and lynched by the neck...just for being a while woman in America?  That's not saying anything to gender bais or unfair treatment when the playing field is level ...and you don't get picked to do a job?  As I pointed out to my wife....Hillary....was no Angel and she certainly had some faults and some skeletons in her closet too?  She was by any means available...a Politician...and she knew the score?  In this case...there is ONLY ONE team...and that's Team America.....no matter which way the cookie crumbles?  This isn't battle for the network Stars between the Men and the Women and is not a gender battle to see who's better...a man or a woman?  This is just picking the team....but we're all on the same one?  ( there's no crying in Baseball??? As Tom Hanks so poignantly said in the movie "A League of Their Own" ) Or are we?  This is where I get soooooo confused??

This does not compute?  I am not programmed to respond in this area?  Is all I can say? lol