I finally left my husband of 13 years. He is being a total nightmare. I would love to hear from other women who have left their ADHD husbands for support. I've left him in May this year and we divorced a month ago. We had no money to split , no property to fight over, but we have 2 beautiful children 13 and 10 who we have both adored. My ex is being mad. He is threatening me, if I see him (which is hardly ever but it happened a few times in the summer and recently again in front of the kids; he torments me asking for the kids' things all the time.. looking for ways to create drama and fuss and constantly trying to contact me. It's too long-winded to explain but he's being a lunatic. shouting at me in front of the kids 'you are the one seeing other people (I'm not although it's not his business). And emailing me and texting me on our (recent) wedding anniversary saying 'this is our night' after harassing me, threatening me and shouting at me in front of the kids. I pay our outstanding debts at the moment with no contribution from him. His total lack of responsibility continues.. I am so worried that he is just going to get worse.. he is interferring with me anytime he can e.g. stalking me on social media, and when he can, asking me things like 'what were you doing here or there at that time?' etc.. I have a great lawyer who is helping me to see me through this but it's been a hellish 8 months and I pray to God it improves. He's blaming me for everything when i supported him in the marriage both financially and emotionally. I see more clearly than ever what a mess of a marriage I was in: it was doomed from the start: he was irresponsible with money, not willing to listen, totally disorganised, a fantasist. He adores the children but does he? My daughter is so angry with his behaviour to me in front of her but she is even more angry that he refuses to accept responsibility for it and his refusal to listen to her when she tries to tell him about it (he is doing what he did to me in the marriage to her.. it's heartbreaking to see her go through it but she has given up and won't stay with him or see him at all if she can help it) He's alienating her. This is so sad for her. She is bright and articulate and says she has given up on him. He repulses her. It's shocking. I've been shocked at the level he has taken his rage and behaviour to. Nothing would surprise me now. He has been a total nightmare. I am worried. However, despite this dreadful behaviour of his, and his seeming wish to destroy my spirit I would not go back with him for all the money in the world. It's like I've found a way out of prison and there's no going back . It's been an insane experience and an eye-opener for me. i hope it's not too late to have a good life. I have never had an affair and am not actively looking for a man.. it's the last thing I want right now.. also I'm afraid of what he would do if i had a relationship.. he has scared me for sure... but mostly I'm not ready either. I'm so hurt.. and shocked at seeing the man I married for what he is. Also, at grasping more fully the woman I must have been to marry him: naieve, desperate to 'save him'.. (I met him when I was 32 and had been in therapy for years, so I figured I could help him over his very difficult childhood.. omg.. what an mistake that was) I'd love to hear if anyone has been through something similar and how it has ended up.. I hope he stops trying to wear me down relentlessly. I'm tired.
Submitted by Ener on 12/16/2013.