It's been over a year since I left my ADHD/psychopathic ex. He married less than a year after we split up, and he and new wife are moving soon, out of state. I actually spoke to her a few days ago -- she is very nice and probably as unsuspecting as I was. Her former passed away, and I felt sorry for what she is going to be facing, sooner or later. When I saw him today from a distance, there was no emotion. He had been so abusive. After splitting up, I used to tremble. I had to go to counseling for anxiety. I lost every shred of self-confidence I had. I had a terrible fear of "something" that I couldn't describe. But today I'm "back" and seeing him was like seeing any other neighbor. No emotion, no self-doubt, no sadness, and no regrets. Not my problem anymore.
I always felt like I was nothing special to him -- just another warm body to keep him from being alone. And now there is a strange relief in knowing what I felt was true. He picked up another warm body as soon as I left.
Best wishes to all of you still in crazymaking relationships that make you feel like there is no hope -- love you all. But I'm outa here ---