Leisure Time

I previously posted this in the "Organization" forum w/o any responses, . . . So I am pasting it up here with hope I might get some of your thoughts on this real problem.  This really is about the lack of joy in my marriage with respect to leisure time,


Thanks in advance!


Why is it so tough to figure out what to do with leisure time or, more-to-the-point, "non-work" time?  Certainly I am challenged at work (Organization, decision-making, and short-term memory are daily struggles) but the real issue for me (and my wife of 36 years) is what happens (or more accurately, what does not happen) during my week-ends and other days off, never mind vacations.   

I have worked steadily for over 35 years as a licensed clinical social worker in the not-for-profit mental health field.  Ironically, my title is Performance Improvement Administrator!  Somehow I need to improve my own performance at home.  On most weekends or days off I will, if left to my own devices, sit around and listen to classical music / jazz; watch TV, search on e-bay for another something that I don't need to add to my collections (cameras, CDs, DVDs, watches, binoculars), and if I don't know what else to do . . . EAT!  I will actually have an internal monologue as I head for the kitchen, "well I don't know what else to do so . . . ." 

I recognize that part of me is uptight about going out into a new and unfamiliar situation or environment.  I like routine and knowing what a place &/or experience will be before I get there.  Unlike some others here, I am not a thrill seeker.

I truly often cannot decide what to do during leisure time.  I have trouble figuring out what I want to do. What I should do is easier, and even that I will avoid.  If my wife suggests or plans something involving me, I will frequently get annoyed that she did.  But that is a temptation for her, otherwise I will not likely initiate a plan (never mind think of one).

I do take medication for depression and anxiety.  I tried Adderall for a few days but that raised my bp so I stopped at my doctor's recommendation.  

Rather than go on and on . . .  Please give me some thoughts about my leisure time dilemma!  


Springerswimmer in NJ