Letting go..

I'm not sure if this is the right spot to post this but here goes.

Yesterday I decided its time to let go...what will happen, will happen and there isn't a damn thing I can do about it.  I have set the boundaries of what is acceptable and he knows the consequences of stepping over them. Am I letting my dh's ADHD win? NO  Am I giving up? NO  Do I still want my marriage? Very much so, I love my husband to death!  What I am not going to do anymore...worry about keeping things perfect.  I cant keep up the game anymore, for over 4 years I have tried to make everything in our lives (the house, me, our relationship) perfect and I'm exhausted.  I'm also done trying to stay one step ahead of the game, trying to predict moods and actions, trying to figure out where he is or who hes talking to (to try and prevent him from cheating) and trying to save him from himself.  Again, I'm exhausted and I just cant do it anymore!  This is quite possibly the hardest thing I have ever done...... 

Time to try and make friends again (he has run most of them off with his inappropriate comments and being a jerk) and most importantly find me.  I know shes in there, I just gotta find her again.  Had my second interview for my dream job, yesterday....keeping my fingers crossed...thats step one!