Ive seen many comments from spouses & I understand your frustration. But it seems as though some of you think we do things on purpose. I can only speak for myself but I can tell you that being the one living with & having many issues is no picnic. I have ADD, OCD,intermittent explosive disorder & I suffer from anxiety as well as some other issues. I was not diagnosed until I was in my 30s. I had a very hard time staying awake in school much less focusing. Everything just got worse the older I got. I have many trust issues as well. I thought I was blessed & met the perfect man in my late 20s. We lived together several years before marriage. He had great medical & I was finally able to get help. Im not making excuses for myself or your spouses but you couldnt possibly understand how it feels to be this way. If im washing dishes & the doorbell rings I can forget I was doing dishes, as I am easily distracted. This is/was a huge problem for my now separated spouse & I. I never spent money like some of your spouses. My husband would complain of my lack of organization & blame it on laziness. Im not lazy, I honestly just need help of what to do with some things. I am not a hoarder but yes I do have a couple cabinets of clutter. I have been called stupid (out of anger) because I cant remember things. His reaction after 4 months of Dr appts. & meds was " Why are you not better its been 4 months!" Of course that causes me to lash out. Its pure hell trying to stop your own mind from thinking when your trying to sleep sometimes. We barely speak now but when we do its really only so he can reiterate everything that bothers him & how he feels I dont care. I do care & I would love to save my marriage but its just not possible. I know its hard on you spouses but if they havent cheated on you, financially drained you, if your house doesnt look like it belongs on the Hoarder Tv show then please try to maybe be more active by going to counseling or to their appts before you give up.