Loneliness, lack of patience, and little to no intimacy- ADHD Wife

Hello everyone!

My wife has been diagnosed, within the last year, with ADHD and various disorders associated with ADHD. We will be married 10 years this year and, like many in the book, have had ADHD symptoms and my reactions to these symptoms take a toll on our marriage over the years. Just last night, I expressed my need for more attention from my ADHD spouse. I was met with frustration and her argument that she has "been better lately". I am truly trying to be patient, and I know overcoming this together takes time. But the repeating feelings of loneliness, lack of affection and just not feeling at all wanted by my spouse continues to eat at me. I do not know if I need to do more to cope myself, or if I need to do more for my spouse, but it is as if I see her attention placed to anyone but me. It hurts, it is deteriorating my self esteem and I don't know what I need to do to make it better or to assist the process. What has worked for you? What can I do to help myself and my spouse? Should I just suck it up and be more patient? I find myself lashing out and becoming more angry the more I experience these feelings. Please help!!! I will do whatever it takes.