Looking for help/advice

Hi All,

Only just joined this site and I am hoping to find some advice and support if possible.

My situation is this:

Both myself and my teenage son are chronically ill/disabled.

I have a happy and healthy 5 year old daughter.

My husband has ADHD

Since myself and my son became ill, my husband has now had to take on the role of carer and is the main person carrying out all household tasks/cooking/cleaning/washing/school runs/childcare etc. because of my extremely limited abilities. He also works from home, amid many distractions, in order that he is around to provide care as and when we need it.

As you can imagine this is extremely difficult for him. For 99% of the time our house is disorganised and messy, washing is hardly ever done, our daughter is usually late to school..we arrive late at most places including hospital and doctors appointments etc etc.

He is feeling the stress of it all and over time has also become more irritable and stressy because of the demands on his shoulders. Our level of arguing has also increased, as has my level of frustration and also the way in which we argue  which has degenerated into nastiness.

We are both sufficiently aware to recognise this problem and are still at the stage where we can communicate and talk about issues and still love each other very much...which is why we are seeking help and ideas of how to improve the situation and our relationship.

Any thoughts would be most welcome. Thanks