DH is off his med's for the next 4 weeks before deciding what they will do at that point (new med/same meds/no meds?). The counseling sessions will be all about him only for him until he decides otherwise.
DH has been withdrawn from me (specifically) chooses when to interact with the kids (usually only if they will do something that he is interested in).
DH is still having his outbursts - we have tried to ignore them, we have tried to calmly address them, and we have tried to make light of it - nothing works. The best I can say is that the kids seem to realize that its just "dad" and not that they have or haven't done something to set him off.
Well the newest is our daily meetings - DH has been dragging his feet on these for weeks now. At first, choosing to just skip them all together, then he moved on to "falling asleep" during the meeting and then the newest is - "do you want to meet? Cause I don't have anything to talk about". Now he refuses to speak directly to me and will not be in the same room together - sometimes this could be a good thing.
I tell him how much the kids and I love him and want to help - how we want to be a family, but he doesn't seem to hear it. There is no response from him. Normally his reply to anything he is asked is "I don't know".
So last night during our talk I asked him how he was feelings (just fine); asked if there was anything bothering him (no); asked he to fill me in on what is happening with work, his life, anything that he'd like to share - no reply. So I mentioned to him that he has been withdrawn the last few days - why? His reply: what's so terrible about if I don't want to talk to someone? And that I'm tired of everyone poking and prodding at me; asking me what I feel- So what if I feel quiet and want to be by myself? What's so terrible about that? My reply: Everyone is concerned and we are just trying to help and some progress. And I didn't say that it was terrible to be quiet; but it sure is hurtful and lonely to those around you. His reply - dead silence. end of meeting.
So this is the point that I am at: DH has cut off all communication with me (except to yell or have an outburst), we share no initimacy (which really, how could we when I don't feel close enough to him), we rarely share a bed (he chooses to sleep in the guest room, on the couch, in the basement), and we are moving around each other rather than with each other.
I feel that I am approaching a crossroad here: I won't go on living this way; feeling so alone, emotionally exhausted (do I stay or go?, the cold shoulder treatment and having the lion's share of raising the kids) from dealing with him and his stuff, but I do still love him (God help me) and I don't want to break up my family.
Yes, I am working on myself, I have made a lot of progress - we made progress when he was on meds and in counseling ect. Maybe that is what I am holding out for? But another month before any decision is made on the meds - Im not sure I can hold on that long.
Anyone have any sugessions? Also, I feel that I need to protect myself (my husband has a 4 yr degree and is employed (and makes a comfortable living - while I do not have a degree or certificate and have working on and off for the last 3 years as admin asst since I was a stay at home mom for 6 years prior to that) is contacting a divorce lawyer the way to start finding out what my options are? Or are there other resources to try first (as far as custody, child support, how to handle debt, ect)?
I truely do not want to divorce - but I feel that in working on myself this is the next step (protecting myself and kids finanacially).