I am lost and out of ideas.  I am a non-ADHD person married to a ADHD person.  We have been married for sixteen years.  I know he has not been faithful and went to file for divorce two years ago because of the children decided to go back with his promise of working on the marriage.  In front of the judge he called me dumb.  The working on the marriage has not happened.  So i am right back where i was before i left the house.  I have suffered from depression, low self-esteem, and believe on his part i am in the house to take care of the house and the children.  I purchased the book "The effects of ADHD on Marriage" and have started reading it.  We prefer not to talk and if we do he gets defensive and i shut down.  I have been asked by the children why he is so mean to me.  We have tried counseling and her advice was "he was not going to change and to get a divorce".  He has stated over the years the world should adapt to him, he would not adapt to the world.  We have a daughter who has ADHD and another daughter which is his step child.  He has a another daughter who is bipolar from another marriage.  He has been on depression medication.  I would like to be treated like a human being and have someone to love and be loved.  Any suggestions?