love.

Love is something that i have never felt for a long time while being in this relationship with my Ex.I can't remember when was the last time he looked at me with those loving eyes and said i love you hun!.Today i love him and probably will for a while until i meet someone else.He tore me to pieces,he ruined my every Skye ability to trust another man again.I was, we was very much in love at first and it was the most amazing feeling of my life.After a few weeks or so things started getting very comfy for him and he started dominating me,controlling me,telling me who to talk to, who to be with, that i should quit my job to be with him all the time,tells me i am doing a shit job,brings down my ego,try to tell me that i am over weight when i was only weighing 130 lbs,made me start exercising saying "it's for your health,not a weight thing",he totally started to manipulate me.

One of the things that really hurt me the most is when i met him he had two suit cases with clothes and 3 hundred dollars,no car,no job,no money,no savings.NOTHING!!!!! I took him in fed him,cloth him,paid for his nasty pot habit and also allowed him to sleep in till 11 am in the mornings while i beat the morning serving my customers their Devine,delicious breakfast i prepare for them.I have a huge clientele and my business is growing my the years.The same said job that i am doing that he defines as shit!

I am hurt,confuse,neglected by him and somehow i have to put on a brave face home here so my kids don't worry about their mom.I would never give up on love ever,i wish that i would really find my match some day,it's very hard,i am almost 34 and i have never found that person yet,what i thought was my soul mate turned out to be my soul crusher.I can't resort to living under strenuous circumstances,it's hard already being a single mom and having my own business then to have to put up with my Ex's narcissism..

hope i come out of this soon and find the happiness i always crave and never found...

lovehurts...

all or nothing,

My ex was in this for his desires 'ONLY',I never felt his love and understanding,almost as if he was half man half boy.I got so tired of being his mother during this whole relationship.Pat his head,scratch his back,squeeze his foot..all the pampering i did and cleaned his apartment wash his clothes.I took care of him as if he was my child,and yet he had the nerves to tell be during our last talk that i was never there by him.How can he say something so mean,after all the time i spent with him on weekends away from my kids,during the week after i feel like dead beat out woman from working so hard i would still go by him.

I have come to this conclusion.

Don't matter what i do,how much time i spent with him he would still complain about EVERYTHING!!! got so sick and tired of hearing the same sh#t over and over again i gave up and ended it.

lovehurts...