Sometimes we need to say what is on our minds to be authentic and true to ourselves. Sometimes we need to hold our tongue and let things go.
It seems no matter how I am with dh, outspoken or accepting, it doesn't make a difference. Not to how we are, how we communicate or how I feel about us. It is like we just don't connect...like I have NO effect on him or our situation at all. Ahhhhhh.....Pleasantville for him....I am no more than a doll-a-tron. If I am pleasant, he will stick around in the room and have pleasure in me. If there is something that is serious and needs to be discussed, I am ignored or manipulated (taught) to be agreeable, and left alone to take care of the mess.
I will be thinking of that dang movie, Pleasantville, now tonight.
The Question Is Jennalomone?
Submitted by kellyj on
Do you want to live in black and white (Pleasantville?) and be a fixture in someone else's version of what life is supposed to look like? Or do you want to live in color in the real world which isn't really all that Pleasant? It is an opportunity to live a completely different life than the one you've been living. The only difference is, you have to come up with your own story and script by yourself and from beginning to end which a little harder to do at first. But...once you do...it's just a matter of doing it. What I'm saying or suggesting is not that you physically leave or go anywhere but if your H wants to stay in Pleasantville by himself without you as a fixture in it .....he might find it's not so Pleasant after all once your not playing your part anymore? Know what I mean? (where's my dinner?)
That's IS the scary part at first since you have to come up with your own new dream to what's possible in the real world (in reality)..... but at least to start with.....it's in color and it's real? That opposed to you, the real life flesh and blood person with your own feelings and thoughts trying to fit into someone else's black and white fictional story that they thought up long before you were born and you're just now realizing it. That kind'a sucks I know. It kind of a rude awakening...like someone just dumped a cold bucket of water on while you were in a deep sleep.
Leaving this metaphor ( which I think is a really good one ) the idea that life is supposed to be easy and without pain and struggle is a fallacy. Pain on some level is part of life that IS reality, and to a certain degree......normal.
Not, that if there is pain you need to take a pill immediately for pain to make it go away because that means there's something wrong. As soon as you accept that this is just part of life.....you won't suffer from the pain that is normal for everyone. That's the part that is all in your own head and you can change.
To live life without pain..... is not to live life.......like in Pleasantville:)
PS......no pain, no gain....also applies outside of the gym:)
J