Just to start things off, I'm not actually married to my boyfriend. Largely because we're a same-sex couple, and there's no marriage equality in the state we live in. That said, I think this could still be a good resource for me.
Anyway...my boyfriend has ADHD. He disclosed at the very beginning of our relationship, and I've worked really hard to understand how his brain works and where he's coming from. It's been difficult at times, but I'm generally pretty happy with our relationship. We've run into a sort of problem, though...our sex drives seem pretty mismatched. As in, mine is way higher than his. For a while, it was fairly easy to deal with. We lived about 2 hours away from each other, and only saw each other on the weekends. So by the time our times together rolled around, we were both pretty ready to "go at it," so to speak. Recently, however, I moved out to the West Coast with him for a new job he got, and this problem has really come to the forefront. I could have sex every day (maybe more), but I recognize that is quite a lot, and I'm comfortable toning it down a bit to better match with his libido. Seeing as how we're two guys in our twenties, I'd be more than happy with sexual intimacy every other day, or even every two days. Lately, though, it seems like I'm lucky if we have sex once a week. Which...isn't enough. It's better when he's taking his medication, but he's gotten into this habit of only taking it during the week, and going off of it on the weekends. Which I understand...he feels like he's not himself when he's on the meds, and he doesn't want to become dependent on them. But even when he's on his meds during the week, he seems to get simply too tired or stressed or distracted during the week to engage in sex all that often. And on the weekends when he's off his meds, he gets even more distracted. What worries me is that this is going to get even worse...I finally got a new job out here, and now we're BOTH going to be tired and distracted during the week.
I really just don't know what to do. I don't want to seem like all I care about is sex (it definitely isn't), but sex is an important part of a relationship, and it's really painful and frustrating to feel ignored in this sphere of life. Little help?