Has anyone experienced their ADHD partner lying about money?
Before we married 2.5 years ago, I was aware that he had ADHD, but I somewhat foolishly didn't realise how ADHD can affect a marriage. Shortly after we returned from our honeymoon, I found out my husband had been lying about money in the lead up to our wedding. Somehow I was able to get over that and our finances have been managed by me giving him an allowance, with me basically in charge of the rest. As I felt it was a bit ridiculous and so demeaning that a grown man who earns a decent salary has to ask me for extra money on occasion if his allowance had run out before payday, I foolishly suggested he have an extra small sum of money in his allowance account to keep at the same balance but just to absorb fluctuations in spending from week to week. I recently found out that he had been lying again, saying that his allowance account was balancing when he actually spent the extra funds the week the money moved to his allowance account.
For me the money is not the issue, it's the lying, sustained over a period of time that I can't deal with. I think that we can manage the money by putting more controls in place, but I don't think I will ever be able to trust my husband. We also now have a baby - and I worry about how I can sustain my marriage for baby's sake, when whilst I can accept that my husband cannot manage money, I can't accept the lying. Does anyone have any advice?