Hey there - once I have been a happy person, secure and valued, relaxed and energetic. But, that is a long long time ago. My husband and me are separated since nearly three month now and finally I do start to feel better, bit by bit. Get to see that I am not insane, that I do not need to get an psychiatric evaluation done. Honestly, without my parents I would have totally lost it. My husband tries/tried to tell me that I am the reason why he had repeatedly anger outbursts these last month. I am frustrating him, I do trigger him et c. He did receive his ADD diagnosis last year and did start Ritalin. After that, he slowly started to get moody, obsessed and explosive without any reason. He started to misinterpret messages and did not want to accept when I did tell him that it was not the way I had said it/ meant it. But without succsess.He would not believe me. He tries to force me to admit things I never meant or said. I can see that misunderstandings happen and that I am not perfect either, but it should be enough when I do tell him that it was not meant that way. However, he always did got angry, telling me that it is not true. I felt frightened and tired and could not handle it anymore. I just can't talk with him anymore. He does not trust or believes me.I did walk on eggshells, afraid when his mood would start to drop and when he would start again trying to find a reason to yell at me or belittle me. Now we are separated and it has only gotten worse. He is telling his side of the story to family members and our pastor from church who tries to counsel him, making them believe of course that I am the problem. He says that we have conflicts and I do not want to reflect my own behavior and the part I do have in making him angry. He even managed in making siblings of me believe that I am the unreasonable one, even our pastor is confused and does not know which story is true.
I have always loved my husband, in spite of some of his more difficult ADD traits. But he does not see how much he is hurting me with telling those lies. Maybe it is his perception, but nevertheless they are unrealistic, just not true. He stopped Ritalin now and maybe that stops his anger outbursts who happened to often last months. But how to move forward? He wants me to apologize and finally see my part in making him angry. Right now the whole family is confused because of the way he tells the happenings just a bit different, denies having said things and misinterpreting even emails.When he reacted in anger before, he always apologized but not anymore, I am the one who is to blame and he wants me to finally admit it, even if I do not know where he is talking about...
What to do? He even denies his ADD diagnosis and wants to go to get a second opinion - probably to try to make the psychiatrist believe that it can't be true...and our pastor does not believe me. How could he, my husband is so smart in making people believe whatever it is.
Could his behavior be caused from Ritalin?