I want to say to H, "You garner for yourself nice things. Then you don't take care of your things. Once you have acquired them, you let them rust and pile up with your other things in dirty hoarding piles. It is what you did to me. Once you got me, you ignored me. I would say our relationship needed some attention but you would call me names for letting you know the marriage needed maintenance (as tho I was trying to tell you to do something you did not want to do and no one is going to tell you what to do). I and our marriage get no more of your thoughts and energy than those things in your hoarding piles.....forgotten rubbish".