I asked my H if he would help me with a volunteer project and he refused. I reminded him that I would regularly help him with the children's chess club at our parish school that he used to volunteer at.
H responded with a total lie (which he TRULY believed!!!). He said that I had gone to the school principal's office and had volunteered HIM for the job. I knew that that wasn't true AT ALL, but at the moment, I couldn't remember how H had gotten involved. (It wasn't my thing, so my own memory about that wouldn't be fresh.)
Anyway....I certain knew that I had NOT gone to the principal's office and I had not volunteered him. No way would I have done that. I had no history of doing things like that anyway. NONE...no history AT ALL.
H argued and INSISTED that I had done this behind his back. He began raging at me about it. I just insisted that I hadn't done it, but H wouldn't believe me.
For a few days, I racked my brain TRYING to remember the events surrounding his early involvement with that Chess club. I finally asked our kids if they remembered. They did. They reminded me that one Sunday, we had read in the Church bulletin that the parish school had a Chess Club that met on Wednesday afternoons. And since H loves chess, he immediately said that he was going to start bringing our kids to that group (H had flex time at work that would allow him to go). Then after they had been going for a couple of months, the director of the club told my H that the director was moving out of state, so he asked my H to take over the group, which my H agreed to doing. Periodically, my H would have to go on business trips that would conflict, and I would "pitch in" and take over in his absence.
Oh my....as soon as our kids reminded me of what really happened, I was in shock. Of course what the kids said was completely true, but H had created a story out of NOTHING blaming me for "volunteering him" when I had not been involved in that aspect at all. I wasn't even present when that director asked my H to take over.
Of course I confronted my H with the truth, and of course he then remembered (he could hardly deny it since our kids totally remembered it), but he did not apologize for his false accusations or his raging that followed.
My question is....was this a case of "now" and "not now" ? At the time, (now) he wasn't remembering how he became the director, so his mind somehow created a story that would "fit"????