making plans

I get told often that I am too demanding about making plans.  I want plans made and he wants to wing it....

.I get told that either I haven't given him enough time to think about whatever I want to talk about or that he feels trapped because he's going to lose and not get his way. Or any number of things

Last night I sat down and told him that it would be nice if we could talk about our plans for the next two years.  We are getting to the time in our lives where retirement is on the horizon.

I said that it would be nice to have this conversation in May.  He could choose the time and date of our chat and frame it however he wanted.  Or he could choose not to talk about it at all, it was his choice.  I don't know how I could have left it any more open than that.  I intend not to mention it again so he can't accuse me of nagging.  So tell me how I could have framed this better and what pitfalls havel I left open to myself?  (I know the pitfall of him saying "he forgot" is there)

It just always feels like for any conversation, he is trying to wiggle out of ...... what?  I don't even know.

The denial gene is great in him and his family.   So I'm constantly fighting uphill with that.   Also, for YEARS his go to place is that he is making improvement because he is eating better and getting more exercise.  This generally isn't true except for those 3 months he had to focus or have heart surgery, but he has gone back to his old habits.  I rarely see any effort except for him trying to excercise more and eat better.

Seriously, I don't know how to even have a conversation with him anymore.   I quit talking to him at all after he told me how lousy my family is with figuring out money problems and such and his family is so much better (the opposite is true)   Except for answering questions, Ive not spoken to him for a month.  He finally asked me what was wrong and I told him my feelings were hurt.  He snorted and walked away.  I think he has enjoyed having no conversation because he has no responsibility either.  He comes home, makes his dinner and watches TV.   On the weekends he works in the yard a little bit....something he likes to do   This is his life.  

Anyway..... how could I have better asked the question about having a conversation about planning our lives for the next 2 years