Married 10 years, need advice

I just found this forum and I'm reading things for the first time that sound exactly like my marriage. My husband is ADHD, very intelligent, highly successful businessman. We have one adopted daughter age 10 with some emotional issues and my husbands daughter is a jr in high school and with us half the time. We have been married 10 years. Husband is cold, distant, constantly telling to "get out of his f-ing business", defensive, etc etc etc. He can't put his cell phone down even on our "date nights" and pays all his attention to his bio daughter and neglects me and our younger daughter. On the plus side, he never asks me what I'm up to, does not put limits on my spending (I'm a pretty conservative type financially so I don't spend needlessly just for the sake of spending), and never tries to control what I'm doing or where I'm going. He wants the same for himself, hence the "get out of my business" comment. The problem is that he frequently leaves for hours playing golf or going to stepdaughter's basketball games etc and leaves me at home with the younger child. Sometimes he goes to dinner after his daughter's sporting events and doesn't even bother to tell me where he is or call/text to ask if I would like some dinner myself. He refuses to listen to any  discussions about emotions or feelings, tells me I'm not being "reasonable" or that I'm creating "drama". He only wants happy and cheerful superficial discussions, and if I don't adhere to that I'm being negative. He takes no responsibility for his hurtful actions (ex: he throws out my mail or my things, I ask him to not touch any of my stuff and he says I have an anger problem. Huh? Wouldn't an appropriate response be "whoops, I goofed, I'm sorry?"). I could go on and on, but I feel verbally abused, neglected and very lonely in my own (beautiful) house with him. Trying to decide if I should stay since I'm financially very secure with him and don't feel like splitting would be best for our younger daugther with her issues. Oh, he has solicited other women in the past when things between us have been rough, not sure if anything has ever happened although he denies any physical affairs. I've also found out he has a pretty good porn habit and when I confronted him with my concerns about it he said I was being "unreasonable" and that there was nothing wrong with it. Any advice from anyone who has had kids and split? Any advice/observations from anyone would actually be appreciated.