married for 3 months & considering divorce

I'm writing this as I sit alone in our apartment waiting for my husband to come home, or to even hear from him for that matter. I have known my husband for a little over 3 years, &  became aware of his adhd about a year ago. That's about the time I discovered this site & began printing out posts to share with him in hopes he would realize his adhd is real & have g very negative effects on our relationship & his life. I knew that he was diagnosed with adhd as a child & that he didn't have much guidance or support from his family growing up. His father was an addict, mother remarried to a man who wanted nothing to do with her kids to the point that they kicked him out with nowhere to go before he was even 18. When we met we were both working at a restaurant, life was fairly carefree & we were enamored with each other. We were always doing something fun & adventurous. He was so romantic & I felt we were invincible. It was that moment when you felt " this is it, he's the one". We moved in fairly quickly, & slowly as his responsibilities became more prominent in his life, his adhd & defensiveness did as well. I was always the one doing research, suggesting things I thought would help in managing the adhd but he never took them seriously. The frustration grew a lot in the past year & I became sick of the empty promise. How could this be the man I fell in love with? What happened to the carefree energetic & romantic man I was planning on spending forever with. I would say the symptoms began showing themselves as forgetfulness, defensiveness, empty promises, failure to follow through . His adhd seemed to be worse when around his family, sometimes I felt like he would act very ancy & overly excited, almost childish or immature when around them which made me feel embarrassed or confused. This wasn't a side I had known of my husband. He began to keep things from me,mainly financial problems that I had tried to ask about so I could help him get control of before we got married,but I think being on his own his whole life gave him the mindset that he didn't need anyone's help. I also think it gave him the mindset that he doesn't need to answer to anyone. Taking responsibility for his life, bills,debt, became apparent that these things were never taught to him growing up so to him they were not prioritized. The unmanaged adhd led him to develop a habit of compulsively lying when confronted with any of these things that seemed too overwhelming to deal with, & what made it worse is that he didn't & still has not accepted his adhd as a real problem In his or our life. We began to fight more often, the more I pushed for him to take responsibility for these things the more defensive & withdrawn he became. We had developed what they refer to as the parent child dynamic, & I feel that is where we remain. Despite all this I held onto the hope be would change when we got married. I held onto the empty promises & allowed the lies  because it was easier then confronting  him for the truth. He has become an angry unpredictable person. He  goes from zero to 360 with no middle ground &  it always turns around to be my fault for making him angry. I provoke the anger he tells me by " questioning" him. Most of the time he has no excuse explanation other than " i forgot", " I don't know why I did it" ," I'm a fucked up person, why don't you just leave me". I am beginning to think he would rather end our marriage then be forced to deal with everything he has avoided with lies & defensiveness, or to admit the adhd is a factor & do something about it. I told him this week the next time he tells me to leave I am going to. We were married in August, I felt very confident we could make positive changes in our relationship & his issues. I started to try & take charge of our finances recently which was a mutual decision because he knows he has a hard time with it & things slowly went downhill. My trust In him had been slowly broken down over the past year, 2 weeks before the wedding I found $500 in unpaid parking tickets that he told me he paid, told his sister on the phone in front of me he couldn't pick her up because his registration was suspended, quickly telling me that was a lie to her,an excuse not to give her a rude but later found out it was true. The past month has been a snowball of depressing hurtful events. I found he had been confiscating his mail & throwing it out or hiding it from me so I wouldn't see the letters from all the traffic violations he had. Discovered about $2000 in unpaid fines from the numerous violations the past year that I was unaware of ,he skipped a court hearing last month & had another scheduled for this month. Was going to possibly lose his license. I was sickened that he kept this all from me & was so irresponsible as to let it even happen. Of course when confronted he was angry,mean & defensive. I was wrong for being sneaky & "  looking through his shit". Then last week I found out he didn't even get laid off of his last job, that he just went home sick & never came back. I found this by listening to a voicemail on his phone from his boss asking why he never came back. I work 2 jobs & 60-70 hours a week to support us. This last discovery made me sick. Of course again I am wrong & disrespected him by going through his phone. I am at the end of my rope. I am totally heart broken &  hopeless. I don't even feel like his wife, or that he considers my feelings at any time he acts or speaks. I don't know what to do :( is it too late?  I am 27, I want to move forward & start a family, move into a home. All were doing is moving backwards. We started therapy last week & our therapist gave us an assignment to spend the day doing things we used to love to do, & focus on us,remind each other why we fell in love. Last night he decided it was more important for him to go get drunk & not come home after I begged him not to do that. He has no car or way home today & I dint care to go get him at this point. He said he needed to relieve stress & he never gets to do anything he wants to do. As far as I'm concerned he chose a night of drinking over attempting any effort at fixing or working on our marriage. I'm embarrassed that this is where we're at & feel like I'm part of the problem for letting it get this way. I feel heart broken. If you read this whole thing, thank you. Any advice is more than welcome :(