Meds and Men.....

We've read a lot of posts from women who are upset at their ADHD partners because they won't be medicated or take their meds regularly.

In the past few months, I've had my eyes opened.  For years, H has been difficult.  For years, I never understood his resistance to taking meds correctly or regularly or getting the "right" meds.  Some were supposed to be taken every morning, but he'd resist, and then take too many later once he was too upset to sleep that night (after raging all evening).  


Finally, his doctor insisted that he begin a different regimen.  H resisted, but finally gave in because our marriage was failing due to his outbursts, his drinking was continuing because of his (unreasonable) anger, and so forth.   About 2 months ago, he began taking new stronger meds on a regular basis.


Now H confesses why he (and likely other men) resist taking their meds properly.  It kills their libido.  Simple as that.  For years, he chose "having a libido" over having peace.   While that may seem like a smart choice for men, it really was insane.  What good does is it to have a libido if you're too angry at your  partner to do much about it?   I guess the thinking is that the "good days" make up for the few bad days each week.  


So, for the past 2 months, his libido has been cut down a bit.  He still has occasional interest...about once a week...but that is so much better than the rages that would come out of nowhere.   


I laugh to myself because now my H tells me, "I tell my therapist that you've been perfect these past couple of months."   lol...I haven't changed a bit.  It's just that properly medicated, he doesn't flip out over the most minor "life issues" traffic, a line at the cash register, a sales person making a mistake, and so forth.   Before, if we were in line for the cash register at a grocery store, and there were a few customers ahead of us, and I said, "oops, I forgot to get (some small item that would take me a minute to grab," H would flip out, and later claim that I took 20 minutes to get the forgotten item.  (seriously, I would time myself as proof that I only took a minute or two.)  Now, if I need to grab another item, he takes it in stride.