Dh has his areas of house.  I have mine.  His are messy, disorganized, greasy, dirty, disheveled.  Mine are cleaned and tidy and organized.  Sunday night after company, I didn't feel like washing the dishes, so I didn't. Yesterday I didn't feel like doing the dishes in the kitchen so I let everything out on counters.  Today I looked at the messy kitchen and thought, "This is what dh's areas look like all the time.  He doesn't organize or prepare or clean his areas.  Will he notice that the kitchen is a mess and that there is no silverware or dishes?  If I stopped being concientious and had no food in the house prepared for lunch and dinner and didn't bother to make dinner, will he notice?"  Does he expect me to take care of all the little things to make a home a place where he is able to eat and navigate while he messes and hoards?  I will let my areas of mess go and see what his actions are for a while.  See what happens....I will bet he will be surly and angry but will not put into words what is bothering him except to cuss and posture at me....I bet he will be slamming things today in the kitchen because I don't have things "ready and organized for him" like a wife is expected to do.

Just an experiment.  I know it will not teach him anything...but I am trying to figure out how I got into this weak-willed situation I am in and how I let so many of my own boundaries drop.  How had I gotten to the point of being a little afraid of his reactions and enabling our unequal expectations?