Military spouse never properly diagnosed and abusing Adderall.


   My husband is active duty military. He wanted to take adderall to be able to compete with younger 20 somethings and feel like one himself. He never went for a proper diagnosis and kept talking about how he thinks he lacks focus till his Doctor prescribed him Aderall about 3.5 years ago. He started with 10 mg once a day. Just enough to let him have intense workouts. Since then, his dosage is up to 60 mg (30 mg, twice a day). He does not take the dosage as prescribed for obvious reasons but will take them as and when he wants to depending on how extreme a workout he wants or how much physical work he has to put in. Over the last 3 years he is also not anything like the man I married. He has turned into a very angry, borderline abusive person. He leaves for work at 4 am and never gets home before 7-8 pm, will even just randomly get up and leave for his office on weekends. He has been completely checked out of anything to do with our son and I. On top of that, he also had ambien prescribed by the doctor and suffers from sleep apnea but will not use the sleep machine. Now it is to the point that he only screams and shouts at me and our 6 years old son, lies about the smallest things, plays rough (pinching, pushing, biting, shouting) with our son, wakes up paranoid and for a few seconds does not remember where he is and with whom. I am always walking on egg shells because everything I say or not say, do or not do triggers his anger at me. He carries a handgun with him 24/7 because he is afraid something bad will happen at the bowling alley, home even things lie what is someone tries to steal his car from the parking lot at the mall. We had to change our marriage counselor who is a addiction and PTSD specialist. She discussed with me that he might have PTSD and is definitely not been to the right people to be diagnosed with ADHD. The minute he found out that his adderall prescription was in question. He made us change from her to a non-medical counselor. Now he is openly hostile to me to the point I have spent a day and night at a shelter with our son because of his threats. He was severly abused as a child by his own mother and I see that pattern immerge since he has been on adderall. This topic is completely off discussion to the point that he said he will call his doctor and tell him that he cannot discuss anything with me and if I still try he would rather divorce me than have me even discuss his medications. My questions are:

1. Can I discuss my concerns with his doctor - the effects, his family history, his usage of adderall?

2. How do I get people to notice that these are not small issues but there is something really bad going on with my husband? So far, everytime I have tried to get help, I just get told that nothing has happened yet and that I need to be supportive and try and keep the peace and not give him any reasons. No one has even ever listened to my concerns about his prescription medications use.