THE MOOD SWINGS IS SWINGING ME AWAY.THE ABUSE CYCLE IS GOING ROUND AND ROUND.

I am fed up of my spouse's mood swings.How long again before he realizes how uncomfortable he makes me feel?Every afternoon after work he would pick me up to go to his apartment where I would be his maid.I would do his dirty dishes from the night before,sweep the floor,hey a little bit again and I would be turned into cindarella,and when I am there he is always passing me straight or talking to me cold and dry or in parables.Then he tries to put on a fake smile so he won't be noticed.ADHD was the sad story starting with his ADHD mother,according to what he told me,when he was much younger growing up his mother was very hard on him especially him even though he have two other siblings.He told me that he was a child born out of wed lock behind his stepfather's back and that the stepfather brought him up as his own ,,but they both grew him up under false pretences, and made his whole family think the child is his son because they were protecting themselves from shame and slander.So his story was that his mum suffered abuse because of this for many years from the step father and the same said mother that bore the son turned around and abused him which is my husband today and made him pay for her mistakes, and I think I am paying for it now.This is not ADHD related it can't be that,that was clearly a state of mental abuse.My husband was abused so bad and was never loved as a child that I know he looks for that in his relationships with the women he had before, and now me.Sad, I feel sorry for him but I feel more sorry for myself because I never saw it like this the whole puzzle is coming to me now and I now realize the reasons for his wanting and wanting so much.He has the mind of a 16 year old and I am now understanding that,that was the age he left and head to a different city where he fended for himself and with the help of no one..I was told that his mother use to chase him out the house.These are the things may be causing his constant mood swings and the repeat of a deadly abusive cycle..I am not prepare to have my kids live with him AT ALL! I love him and would love to try and work things out but is it worth it?

For the sake of my kids, my everything these kids depend on me, for their happiness,comfort,support and love.I don't want my kids to be affected by some man that just not to long came into my life and ruined them.He nags about our living arrangement and I told him over and over again that I am not leaving my kids, and MAYBE someday when they get old enough to take care of themselves then I would consider,but I don't think he would wait that long,far less me..I am tired of the mood swings and the nagging and the fighting,and especially the mood swings..Tonight as I write this forum I just came from by him and the level of mood swings he gave me was so overbearing and uncomfortable...He actually swing me away straight home..OMG I was so happy to get away from him and thank god I have my peace when I get home after that mood swing.....please share thoughts and comments..thanks for listening and reading my forum...............................from:lovehurtsalotwithanger.

Mood swings and leaving

I left my ADHD husband of 4 years about two months ago. I admit, sometimes I feel lonely. But ya know what? Not as lonely as I felt with him. When we married, he not only alienated my 16 yr old son from me with his rules and regimens, but he embarrassed me in front of my friends and family. They all backed off and just left me to him -- they got tired of listening to it. But now, my son is back and all my friends (well, most of them) and family tell me how concerned they were for me at the time. I don't tremble any more when I have to be around him. I don't have to take tranquilizers. I get giddy happy sometimes! I'm back at a job (also had given that up for his career plans), and I feel like I'm worthwhile to others and have a sense of purpose again. The spinning feeling I always had, like I couldn't trust my perceptions -- they were always wrong according to him -- it has been replaced with a sense of calm and peace. God has forgiven me. I have forgiven him (at a distance, however).

I still read these posts daily so I never forget how awful he treated me. The "whirlwind romantic" of our short dating and honeymoon period was just not the real person -- and didn't ever really exist.

If you guy wants your help and you want to help, great. But if you find yourself becoming mentally ill and looking from the outside at what you've become, don't believe the lie -- you CAN make it and people WILL help you once you rid yourself of a selfish or abusive spouse.

Just my story -- thanks to everyone for your posts. It made me realize it wasn't just me.

 

I'm glad you are at peace

I'm glad you are at peace with your decision. Let's face it some people are a-holes with or without ADHD. Good luck!