So I got an email from my abusive ex after not hearing from him for almost 5 years. Even though I broke up with him 9 years ago and I have been happily married for 7 years, he is right where he was previously with no apparent ability to move on. He first sent me a video of a romantic song, "Don't Dream It's Over", then launched into a tirade of how I am a monster who betrayed him by leaving, ruined him financially, and turned him away from seeking relationships with other women. He said I have a "pattern" of leaving relationships "after only 10-12 years" because he knew my marriage lasted 12 years and I dumped him after 11 years. Yep, it's still all my fault, according to him, that he's still alone, miserable, and broke without a job..... wallowing in his victimhood.
My abusive ex boyfriend
Submitted by sickandtired on 05/05/2024.
Why don't you block him?
Submitted by CANTGOBACK (not verified) on
If you can't block him, why not just delete without reading and spare yourself the drama? Does it even matter what he has to say?
It’s not that simple. I blocked him years ago.
Submitted by sickandtired on
He created a new email address that is very similar to a mutual friend and I thought the email was from the mutual friend. This friend and I share a love of music and I thought it was her, until I read the text of the email. Trust me, I am SICK of his "drama". I was just looking for some support from forum members who are familiar with my situation.
Gotcha
Submitted by CANTGOBACK (not verified) on
As you didn't initially indicate what you were seeking, I thought I'd ask. What a pain, and what a toxic guy. Good luck.
Sickening
Submitted by Swedish coast on
That logic of his is truly sickening. I too have heard the most outrageous tirades when RSD has peaked during divorce. I don't know what to make of it, it's too crazy. Since nobody else witnessed it, sometimes I felt like I was losing my mind.
Im sorry about this. You don't mention your feelings, but to me it would be very stressful to be contacted in that way. I feel for you.
Thank you Swedish
Submitted by sickandtired on
Yes it's very disturbing when I'm just living my happy life with my wonderful husband, and I get blindsided like this, with him telling me my own father told him I was evil and not to be trusted. I suspect and hope that my father never said such things, but he had dementia in the last few years of his life, and he didn't appreciate me taking over his finances after Daddy was scammed by multiple convicted felons. I have ptsd from my ex boyfriend's behaviors which I won't go into deeply here, but my previous posts tell the story. Just a sample would be after giving him a nice truck after I ended it with him so he could travel back to his home state, he returned by bus and stole my Buick Enclave SUV that I paid cash for. He threatened to murder my best friend in the parking lot of her workplace. I had to get the FBI involved to make him stop this cyber abuse years ago. I thought I was finally free of him, so it's very disturbing to me that I am back in his sights after all of these years. It's really scaring me that in his sick mind, he still says he wants to be with me, but in the same email he says he hates me. That's totally insane.
How horrible
Submitted by Swedish coast on
I'm so glad you now have support from a loving spouse. Take care.
He just wrote another email
Submitted by sickandtired on
I didn't read this email. I just counted the paragraphs. It was 87 paragraphs of pure delusional narcissistic rage. I'm saving it as evidence to give to the authorities.
I'm sorry this is happening to you
Submitted by 1Melody1 on
What a terrible thing to have to deal with so many years after. You should not have to live with this stress. I have an ex boyfriend from 30 YEARS AGO who still tries to track me down to this day.
I've read narcissists often return to previous sources of supply, either to try and get more or to punish all over again. You are so right to protect yourself.
Wishing you well and hoping he moves on quickly from this.
Thanks Melody
Submitted by sickandtired on
In the first email that I actually read, he threatened to burn my photo albums he stole from me when I made him move out. He has EVERY photo album from my childhood, college years, trips with my deceased parents, all of them, and he's been cruelly holding them hostage for money that I refused to pay. He even implied that he would still be willing to ship them to me if I paid him now. He seems to be getting more and more enraged that I am ignoring him and not responding to his manifesto. After 9 years of not having my photos, I have peace in my heart that I will never see them again, but he thinks he can still hurt me by dangling them over the fire.
This sounds very dangerous
Submitted by BurnedOutLady on
I'm sorry to say this but I think you need to watch out for your safety. This person sounds very dangerous. How can you take precautions?
I agree
Submitted by sickandtired on
I dumped him 9 years ago because I was afraid of him. He distorts my fear into "hate" for him while he invariably has taken a victim role complaining about me to anyone who will listen. He lives over a thousand miles away from me, he doesn't know where I live, and I now own 2 large dogs over 70 pounds. One of them is a pit bull.