Hi, I'm new to this group and happy to have found it. I need some advice, and would love to hear what you guys have to say. I'll try to keep this short and sweet.
I was diagnosed with ADD (not hyper) when I was 12. I'm now 37. I am in a long-term relationship with a woman I love. We have a very young daughter together whom we both love with all our hearts. But I have ADD, and it's leaving my girlfriend feeling isolated, unloved, taken for granted, and overall disrespected. I love her, but she's not seeing it, and it's obviously taking its toll on our relationship.
To add to the stress, we recently moved to another country so that I could start a new job. This is a country with which I am very familiar, but my gf is not. She quit a very very good job to come with us, and is now a wonderful stay-at-home mom. This is clearly adding to her feelings of isolation - new country, no friends, no family nearby, hanging out with a baby all day, and a boyfriend who makes her feel taken for granted and unloved. She's gotten to the point where she's fed up and ready to move back to where we came from, taking our child with her. I obviously don't want her to leave, but at this point, I don't blame her for feeling this way.
She knows about my ADD, and she tries to be understanding, but this is new for her too. She's not sure how to handle me, how to handle my constant failure to do things which she thinks should be obvious, and how to handle feeling the way it makes her feel.
Ok, here's where I need help....
I've been reading a lot lately about how ADD can affect relationships, and it's been amazingly eye-opening for me. I've seen tons of paragraphs and stories and said "YES! That's me/us."
BUT, I haven't seen much at all about what the PERSON WITH ADD CAN DO to help make things better. Most of the articles/stories I've seen basically just seem to advise making sure the unafflicted partner is fully aware of the situation and its inherent difficulties.
But what I want to know is, as the one with ADD, what I can I do to be proactive and help make life easier for both of us?
I already am on medication, and it works for me at work. But it doesn't help me in our relationship.
I am all ears. Thank you in advance.