My boyfriend or should I say "ex-boyfriend" were dating for 4 months, long-distance. We met on a dating site, we had a conection we haven't had before with anyone else, we were so different but yet so similar.
His life his a mess, he had a little girl with his ex and she have never allowed him to see her, the same ex filled a restraint order for his mom because she doesn't want to have contact with his family, he has a huge school debt, no job because he dropped school before he discovered or was diagnosed with ADHD.
We were doing very well, had some little disagrements but we would always come back stronger, we were making plans about one of us visiting the other, due to the lack of money for both of us, it's getting hard because I live in America and he lives in Norway.
We used to voice-call or video-call for hours, when i say hours I really mean it, we would usually talk like 4 to 5 fives hours and we used to text each other almost all day.
On top of all of that, he has a drinking problem and in order to get proper medication his therapist said he needs to quit alcohol, he was so determined to do it but he had a setback and got wasted with the friends he lives with, after that he got very deppresed and texted me about how sorry he was he had failed to me and how I deserve a better man than him, I've known he has depression problems and ADHD since the first month and i've always tried to understand him and support him, I've told him countless times that I love him for who he is and that I accept with him with all of that. Our conection was so strong we even started talking about moving in together either in my country or his, about how we crave each other in every sense but he had mentioned that he thinks it's not fair for me to be with such "disaster" when I can do so much better with a more mental stable and succesful man.
Until that day he got wasted with his friends, we had a call and he was very regretful about having had drinked because his uncle was also in the hospital for smoking and drinking too much and he said he don't want to end up like him, I calmed him down and everything was seeming to get better, until the next day we barely texted and I was out, i told him I was going to call him when I got home and I did but he never responded, it's been two days and he's still not answering my calls or texts, I might have complicated it even more by trying to contact him trough all of his social media, but haven't been lucky.
His bestfriend told me he is having a very hard time and that maybe he only wants time for himself, but I don't know... my ex boyfriend never broked up with me, he just vanished like this one but there's a difference; with my other ex it was a fight what lead to the silent treatment and he hadn't ADHD and this other one he does have it and we never had a fight or anything that could have led him to the ghosting.
I've read a little bit hyperfocus, do you think he was only hyperfocused and now he realized he doesn't love me? He once told me that he was scared because no one have ever been this kind, loving with him and that nobody had ever accepted him for who he is the way I have and that when he got depressed and most of time he felt like he doesn't deserve me because he's too fucked up to be so lucky to have a girlfriend like me, which I always responded that that was not true, that he was an awesome person and that I was a lucky one because he is a very special person.
Now I don't really know what to do, my family don't know about him having ADHD and I'm sure nobody could understand me like this forum because i've been reading some of your experiences.