My ADHD Husband

I've been visiting this site for the last several months. I attempted to share my discovery with my husband, but he simply took it as an insult. I tried again recently by reading "Men Who Aren't Convinced that ADHD Matters." He claimed to have no argument with the blog but wanted to know why the wife's mental temperament wasn't discussed-alas he missed the entire point. Tonight we had dinner with his parents. During a discussion he started interrogating me in a very accusing tone, only to realize the information I was sharing was information he shared with me a few weeks ago. The moment was tense and quiet, but if I bring this up he'll tell me it was just me being hypersensitive. I just need to be told its not me.
Hypr1's picture

that river in Egypt -- Da Nile...

I deny I am in denial! And I stand by that!  Just kidding - and possibly poor humor. You said he said, "but [he] wanted to know why the wife's mental temperament wasn't discussed". OK, yes -- missed the point by a mile. But - then we ADHD husbands often do miss the point. Because we are so focused (yes we can) on convincing you that it's not us, or pointing the finger at some other facet -- that we don't see the four other fingers pointing back at ourselves.

Then there is that "interrogation". Again -- do we see the deflection. Even though I don't really know from you post what he was interrogating you about specifically, to me it doesn't matter. The fact that he was confronting you in front of his parents,  and probably trying to get them to "buy in" that ADHD doesn't matter - or making you feel stupid or poorly over your concern about your relationship - is proof enough to me that he has the "H" in ADD and is probably aware of his innattentiveness, distractability, poor follow through, and most of the other personality traits of an ADHD person.

I hope he realizes that your concern is just that -- CONCERN. I think that the tables turned. Is that what you meant by "the information I was sharing was information he shared with me a few weeks ago"?

Being my DW and I are in counseling over my ADHD and OUR marriage problems -- AND things are improving -- I hope my intent above is clear. Maybe your DH could read it and direct his denial at me???  ;-)

In the same boat dude, I just know where the leak is...

 

Funny You Should Mention It...

My husband is playing video games right now so I have time to reply but not too much time as he's failed to acknowledge our dogs are outside hungry. We are expecting a baby in less than 30 days, and the conversation I was having with his mother was about all the birthdays around our due date. My husband regularly forgets entire conversations even if there was another person present. He'll tell me he didn't say things he did or that I misunderstood what he was saying. I'll mention the other person/people privied to the conversation and my husband will still insist that it was all of us that got it wrong!