My ADHD husband and my ADHD husband are at war

I’m trapped in the hell of my ADHD husband and 18 yr old ADHD son at war.  My husband and I have a relationship on the brink and this extra piece makes it all worse.  I thought my husband would be sympathetic to my son since they share such similar struggles however the opposite happens.  My husband cuts our son no slack for all the same things he does.  Our son is in college and comes home most weekends ( a fact that amazes me since home is not a relaxing place to be for him).  I feel completely helpless.  I feel like like I’m being robbed from the very limited amount of time I ha e left with me son at home