My husband and I have been together for 13 years. He has been recently diagnosed with ADHD and began medication this past month. We both always knew he had the disorder (his father is undiagnosed add).
My husband is always looking for stimulation. When we were in our 20s we partied a lot. Lots of drinking... some drugs... That all ended when we got married.. then soon after had our son. When our son reached 3 years old, we both were feeling a little bored with life so we tried the "swinging life style" (swapping partners). My husband was beyond excited! to the point his ADHD ruined everything. He became obsessed with it... hyper-focused on it... talked non stop about it... became overly flirty with my girlfriends.... told most of his guy friends (was furious about this)... didn't handle the rejection very well (lots of rejections in this life style)...the list goes on and on. yes we did have some good times.. but as I looked back, more trouble then it was worth. So I told my husband I wasn't interested in doing this anymore. It just left a bad taste in my mouth every time I thought of it. Honestly, I think I would really enjoy this lifestyle if my husband did not have ADHD. He's just too emotionally unstable and not laid back and cool enough for it. (not sure how else to word that)... Well my husband is pretty depressed about exiting the lifestyle. Yes he agrees that he didn't handle some situations well.. but he has a hard time remembering truly all the negative moments... (he is always living in the now and can't remember how he felt a week ago about something)... But I remember!!! I want to go back to the way things were before we started this life style. He says.. "but there was always hope before... and now there is none... I look at you and see how boring you are... there is no excitement in your life." You would think he was talking to a depressed person. I'm happy! I'm content! I'm almost 40 and like being a wife and mother and living the suburban life. I can't help how I feel. I can't help how he feels. Any advice?