My ADHD ( maybe a bit long or confusing)

So this is my second post. I have briefly stated my adhd in my previous post(new and just learning). This forum seems to be where all the topics are but i am still reading all the stuff on this site. I am going to elaborate on my ADHD issues that have been discovered. I did state some of them a bit before but i thought of some more after that and as per typical ADHD fashion, they come and go at random, although now it is a bit more controlled thanks to my med. I have been married for almost 8 yrs and there was ( or so i thought) not a problem at all. Apparently my undiagnosed adhd was just compounding or chipping away at my wife. I believe my hyper focusing was on her. I have always been needing reassurance or recognition if you will for things that I have done. This i believe, i talking to my adhd therapist and my wife stems from my childhood and my upbringing. Not that it was a bad thing but my parents were always doing things for me and making decisions for me. I had a very good childhood and no trauma associated with it. Now however it seems that over the years it has become a problem. I am usually asking my wife for direction on things when i should just make a decision even if it the wrong one. This issue i think is not too bad. The one thing that I have beaten to a a pulp is the fact that i "hover" over my wife. This is were i think that she is my point of hyper focus. I have learned that i have placed all my happiness on my wife... i.e if i am having a bad day and then see/talk to her, it is all erased. She is my biggest source of happiness. This is a big burden to place on someone, as i am understanding. I love her to death but apparently i have taken it too far. I guess you can have too much of one thing. It is situation overload apparently. All this coupled with the fact that i have never finished a project that i started although i have 3 pieces of trim to paint in the bathroom and it will be done, a COMPLETE remodel, so that is good. I just recently right prior to my diagnosis picked up Driven to distraction and I realized that it fits me, like it is describing my life, if that makes sense. Everyone says that i am a nice guy, so sweet blah blah blah ( all good stuff) to her. Sometimes she is like yea you don't have to live with him or people will say how to you live with him. Apparently it is something that has been just pushed aside and now it is to a head, causing me to find out about the ADHD, which has always been a comment to me as a running joke. Well now it is diagnosed and it really isn't a joke when it affects you and your family. This is were it is frustrating because it is a change from what i have been used to and "normal/Ok" life but in reality it needed fixing. This relates in that the therapist states he hears the opposite from woman that they wish their husband, S.O. or whoever would pay attention to them. Apparently i had the opposite, maybe it relates to my ADHD and it may not have been so bad if it weren't for all the other things associated with it. There has definitely been improvements according to my wife but, my thing is want it fixed and i want it fixed now so I can continue with life and not stress about if it will work. I need definite time frame, 2 days, 1 week, 2 months and i am having to deal/under stand that it does not work like that, there is now answer, as she says with out it will not work between us, but if taking the meds and doing therapy and fixing the way my mind thinks everything should fall into place. That is the worst part having patience to do this, but i have them for this because i want it to work between the 2 of us and the 3 kids also, if i forgot to mention. She is my wife yet I can not enjoy this fully. It is almost like we are starting over so as to reset and start new so it is not a continuation of the "overload" from 8 yrs. I fit 30 yrs of marriage into 8yrs, if that makes sense. Also during the time when this was getting difficult approx 9 months ago, she had started working full time and i saw less of her, so that compounded it more the little time that I had i tried to make up for the time we didn't and this just compounded it even more. More symptoms of ADHD that I can't think of.... Fast forward to now i am trying to make up for "lost time" but it is the opposite of what to. Leave it be and let it work itself out to be right again. I believe that is it for now, I am sure I had other thoughts that came and went. I like this site and look forward the hear peoples feedback if they can relate to any of this. I am sure that I have confused or bored ( : ) ) some people, I apologize for that but that is it in a semi nutshell.... P.S. I am college educated and also work a a full time job and a part time job.. both of which also bring my great joy. I sincerely love my job and do not think of it as such. It also could be noted that the ADHD puts me and my job pretty well, it does not negatively affect it very much, it is a perfect fit.