My DH has ADD. Many of his behaviors I attribute to ADD. However, some of his behaviors I'm just not sure about.
For example, He gives away, throws away, and sells my belongings. These are items that I made, that I bought or that have sentimental value to me. It's very hurtful. Once he tried to throw away a box of keepsakes from my childhood. Luckily, I caught him before he succeeded. His personal belongings, on the other hand, he cherishes and keeps almost to the point of hoarding. In your opinion is this behavior linked to ADD or is something else involved?
He also ignores me and offers no support when I'm ill, too ill to take care of myself. I have come to expect this behavior. However, recently I had an inner ear infection that caused extreme nausea. I couldn't even move my head without vomiting. He did something very strange. He called some friends and told them that I was very ill and that he was going to take me to the emergency room. In reality, as soon as he hung up the phone he left and took the kids horseback riding for the afternoon and did another activity all evening. He left me helpless in the bed. Is this ADD?
He may have ADHD, but he's got something else as well....
Submitted by overwhelmedwife on
My H is usually horrible when I'm sick. I am actually sick right NOW, but he's actually being good for a change....we'll see how long that lasts.
You need to take steps to protect thhings that you treasure. Either put them in a paid storage, or the attic, or in your closet or somewhere that he won't bootther them.
Ha ve you tried therapy to gether and bring thise things up?
My sister is a therapist, and I didn't realize that there are certain things that a re big red flags to bring up to T's. this is one.
Also....take pics of his "stuff" so you can show the T that he allows himself to have stuff, but not you.
The belongings..
Submitted by sunlight on
.. No, that doesn't sound like ADHD.
"as soon as he hung up the phone he left and took the kids horseback riding for the afternoon and did another activity all evening"
This sounds like avoidance is a big thing with him, which might be learned as a child as a way of 'escaping' from the thought of his ADHD problems and from the way other people have reacted to him, and a way of escaping having to process negative emotions (which most of us learn to deal with as we mature). But to go to the extent of telling people that he would take you to the ER and then leaving? That sounds extreme. You might try researching 'avoidant personality' and see if anything fits. If so then it may be that avoidance is part of whatever is going on when he tries to get rid of your stuff. He knows that you are emotionally vested in those things that are part of your separate life and he doesn't know how to deal with the feelings of exclusion. I could be completely wrong.