My first post.

Hi, this is my first post.


I came across the book while looking for books in my local public library on getting the romance back in your marriage. I have been married 12 years, and with my wife for 3 years before that. We have 2 daughters, and after the birth of our 2nd daughter, my wife had bad menstual cycles. Our family doctor suggested that she go back on birth control, and that might help with her bad cycles. After going back on birth control, her lungs filled with blood clots, and she was told that if she got pregnant she would likely have more. Enter her fear of sex. I went to see a doctor about a vasectomy, and was given a price that I could not afford. After some time, I went to another doctor, who billed it to my health care through the province. It took 5 years before we had sex again, and on the 3rd time, I had a stroke immediately afterward. Understandably, she was very scared, but I am on the mend and have been given the green light to go ahead and be sexually active. That was months ago. It should be no surprise that I was hoping to get the romance back in our relationship.

When I saw the book come up in the search results, I put a hold on it immediately. I had just been diagnosed with ADD at 42. When I started reading the book, it was like an awakening. So much of what I read in the book was also true in our lives. My wife has been very angry, and I can't seem to "get with it." Lately she is angry more than she is anything else. Household chores go undone, and tension builds. I know I resent her for over 5 years without an intimacy, and my therapist suggested that she get counselling to deal with her anxiety but she seems to refuse.

When my wife gets angry, it is like getting hit in the chest with a sledgehammer. She is a great woman, and I fear that I have pushed her to this. I feel like I can do no right, that I am a horrible spouse. I try to do the housework, and it's hard, and when I'm done work, I'm beat. My job is very physical, and I wish I could do better. I know that she feels that I get to have all the fun, and she has all the crummy jobs, but I also feel like I'm livintg with a roommate. There is absolutely no intimacy in our relationship, I dread her being angry, and I don't see how to improve it.