Is my husband ADHD? Help!

Hello everyone, this is my first post here. I am not a native english speaker so, I apologise for the possible mistakes in writing.

I come accross in this forum because I am wondering if my husband -we first met 18 years ago- could be ADHD. I know this is not the way to get a diagnosis, but I need some help in order to speak about this with my husband and understeand if I can convince him to contact a specialist.

The things are not going well between us at this moment, because of the “oddnesses” he always have had but know, after we move to another city and having a 3 year old child I can’t stand it anymore.

First of all, he is always late. We arrived late at every appointment we have: at the doctor, meeting friends and relatives etc (I have to lie about the appointment time with him). He lost so many flights and trains, making me mad (we had a long distance relationship for many years) and loosing a lot of money to buy other tickets. He didn’t have lost more of them just because some flights and trains were in late too.

He procrastinate: he wait the last second to start to do everything: going to the supermarket, going for a run, packing and so on. Even a family trip it’s becoming stressful and frustrating also because he took so many hours -sometimes a full day- to pack and organise his things and I have to wait for him everytime, taking care of our child in the meantime. Everytime we do not manage to leave at the scheduled time but hours and hours later, sometimes the day after.

He frequantly lose important things like wallets, money, documents, keys or forgett things I have said to him; often he doesn’t find his things at home and blame me for that.

He had a lot of small car incidents and collect a lot of fines. He also had a serious car incident once, because of the lack of sleep: infact, he have sleepiness when he drives becouse he also sleeps very few.

He doesn’t seems to have the sense of time: he managed to stay obsessively focused on one thing for hours and hours and think that it passed just 5 minutes, instead of 4/5 hours without care about other people needs. This means that he often forget to give me a call or check the phone.

And so on…. I am very worried because for the first time I am thinking that my marriage is in danger. I am so exhousted, it is like to have 2 children instead of one and I don’t know what to do.

My husband is such a good man, optimistic, with sense of humor and, usually, tender… I feel he doesn’t act like that on purpose, our child loves him and so do I, although I am so angry with him now.

Surprisingly to me, he does’t seems to have issues at work, he has a high profile career in the military, he is excellent at his job, he always have had very high grades at school and at the University, although I know he always been considered “hyperactive” by teachers and parents.

Thank you for any suggestion you’ll make